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this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
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Selfhosted
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A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Point 1. If you're asking someone to donate their time to help you, don't be surprised if they have a few questions first. Wanting to know more about the exact nature of your problem is a good start to figuring out, for example, if they're even the right person to assist you.
It doesn't do you any favours to insist that someone commit to teaching a class over video chat without even being willing to go so far as to give them a syllabus first.
Point 2. When begging for a free ride, don't complain that the car didn't come with seat warmers. If you're going to insist on dictating the manner in which people help you, the result is just going to be that people don't want to help you.
For instance, after posting my first comment, I actually considered offering to PM or chat on Discord so that we could sort out your problem together. I have since reconsidered; this is, in fact, exactly why people who know how to do this stuff usually aren't super jazzed about the idea of an open jitsi meeting or similar. You're going to end up dealing with far too many people who feel entitled to make demands of your time.
I actually like helping people learn about computers. Part of my job involves teaching IT skills, and I genuinely enjoy it. Under the right circumstances, I would be exactly the kind of person you're looking for. And I genuinely do appreciate your frustration; self-hosting is a mess of bad documentation and incomplete guides full of jargon, poorly explained ideas and assumptions of prior knowledge.
But looking at your behaviour throughout this thread, I don't think you're ready to be a student. You've been nothing but combative and demanding, while showing absolutely no appreciation for the time that people are taking to try to help you. It's a bad look, and it just reinforces exactly why people generally prefer to do this stuff at a remove, if at all.
The entire purpose of my inquiry is to not sit here and waste each others' time going back and forth for hours on end over text trying to figure it out. It's for us to be able to have a discussion and so that you can see what I'm doing as I'm doing it. If you're not interested, that's fine, keep scrolling. No one is trying to twist your arm.
I don't have an exact problem.
You're literally just fabricating all of this. None of that happened. I didn't "insist", "beg" or "demand" a damn thing. I simply asked if anyone would be interested or willing. Because, as you've said, that's the sort of thing you enjoy.
I've been combative because I've almost exclusively been met with hostility for daring to ask such a thing.
I only post on forums because if everybody used discord and other non-searchable communication mediums, the internet would be a complete failure, or about as available as peoples secret mushroom spots. I promise you that the issues you face are not original. Everybody else who comes across this thread looking for a good place to start is going to be pissed because there's only one or two listed, when there could have been an entire thread full of good places to start, with commentary about specific tutorials and why they suck or what parts a new person could get stuck on.
These forums are not just for you to use as a dump to vaguepost and hope someone will spend several hours of their life cheering you on while you figure out how to do stuff. They are for everyone in the thread, and everyone who comes after while looking for similar solutions. Trying to take whatever support you end up getting away from everyone who comes after you is called pulling up the ladder after yourself, and is the exact opposite of why forums exist in the first place.
If people had actually been rude when you asked a basic question, it would be different. But it isn't. You're not trying to engage with the way this forums actually works and it really shows. As far as I can see, most everyone here is trying to help. You just don't want the great help that is being offered. You want an unpaid private tutor who will cheer you on and sometimes give you a tip to make things easier, while you avoid doing things like reading the manual, looking through tutorials, or heaven forbid, googling what aomething is.
When everywhere you go smells like shit, check your shoes.
It doesn't 🤷 just here. Bye now!