this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2023
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Don’t You Know Who I Am?

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (3 children)

We used to call these people patronizing but it got gendered for some reason

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's funny because "patron" in "patronize" comes from "pater" which means father.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

And "condescending" is also available to describe this behavior.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because it's a specific subset of patronizing, where it wouldn't have happened if the target were not a woman.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

What about the other way around, what's that called? Like I've had women "mansplain" cooking to me because I am a guy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Womansplaining I guess? It's not a popular phrase or even one I've ever heard anyone else use, but it somewhat fits as she explained it because she felt like you don't understand cooking as a guy. But it's missing the other context where mansplaining only became a popular term because lots of women could identify with their own personal experiences of being condescendingly explained to just because they're a woman.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah in my books, "Mansplaining" has never had proper meaning. It was just a way of blaming men for a particular behaviour, which is generally neutral to begin with.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nah, it came from a very real workspace behavior where men would explain things to women when the woman would be the expert.

It’s very well studied: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201603/the-psychology-mansplaining

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Is an interesting topic of discussion, unfortunately, they always seem to attach these things to a specific gender or race and it makes the whole thing sound childish. It's like the concept of micro-aggressions, I like the idea of investigating the subtleties of human behaviour which can have covert but large effects, but they immediately attach it to race and racism.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 year ago

The people who came up with it just didn’t have a lot of real world experience dealing with people. Most likely college kids writing from their own, narrow minded viewpoint (with a dash of narcissism)