this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
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Asklemmy

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Basically title, every bit of online dating nowadays is either Match or Meta, and we're all about breaking corporate chains right?

So these are the thoughts I had:

  1. Matches based on simple user selection: age range, lifestyle, hobbies etc. None of that dumb algorithm stuff that makes you reset your profile every month.

  2. ActivityPub protocol so that anyone can run their own instance, but can also be blocked if anything heinous happens.

  3. E2EE for messaging (and anything else if it's possible).

  4. Someone wrote an open-source anti-CSAM script for Lemmy recently, I hope we could adapt that to our use.

  5. Just, like, everyone have a good time on this app, we're here for love lol

I am not a coder, so I would have no idea how to do this, but I wonder about the interest in such a creation. Maybe some of you out there could make something I could use to get a date (pls).

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[โ€“] [email protected] 59 points 1 year ago (2 children)

In theory? Yes. In reality? No.

Besides all the practical reasons already mentioned, it's simply a question of marketing to get people into it. Which costs money noone wants to pay because it kills the principle of breaking free of corpo-hold. Without marketing you'll end up with the nerds that are already here (majority). And of those, the majority are probably also male.

And on top of that, you might find other people living in NYC but what about smaller cities or even foreign ones? With reddits userbase you probably could, but you don't reach them because they already prefer mainstream-stuff ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And of those, the majority are probably also male.

Ok we start with a federated Grindr, then once that takes off we use the network effects to pull in other orientations..

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Lol. But... We already have grindr. If I'd be gay, why should i use anything else? ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It's still controlled by a single organization, it's not federated, it's not open, it's not Democratic. So if we're trying to bring democracy to more platforms, why not grinder?

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yea but if I'm going on grindr my main desire is dick not democracy. Grindr is much more of a hookup app than a dating one so your trying to market to a customer based blinded by horniness.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Makes it easier to get a MVP working then :)

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How much democracy can one expect from a blowjob?

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

As long as the participants have symmetrical information and are not influenced by a third party, it's very democratic

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Actually i don't know shit about grinder. Just that it exists. But as long as it's free (i assume?) and fair, i wouldn't mind. Most platforms are (or end up) squeezing guys for every penny they have in hopes of finding someone. That is a system that disgusts me.

But simply technically: too few nerdy gays to build a federated grinder. And no cash to market it. And every potential gay would just be like "there's already grinder, where is the added benefit?"

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yep. Dating services are hard mode for the network effect, because you need to find a bunch of users that are close to you.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Aye. Would kinda defeat the purpose if there'd be noone near. And the chances that one person near you does also like you is.... Well... Let's say, it sucks for the majority of men.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd actually guess the man would leave first most of the time. There's way too many dudes that rely on dragnet mass messaging to anyone they find attractive, to the point where they make it difficult for all the other men.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Aye. Pointless.