this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2023
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This was literally my husband's objection to getting medicated ๐ It helped his anxiety, then he didn't have the anxiety to get stuff done, so he thought he should just not be medicated cuz he was terrified he wouldn't have the ability anymore without the anxiety.
Lucky for him I went through the same thing with my meds, but my answer was, "Use the medication to build good habits." Which is the great wisdom I passed on to him (which I probably picked up from lurking ADHD spaces before my (and his) diagnosis).
How you do that, build healthy habits with the meds ?
For me they help me be more ok slowing down and starting small and not feeling so overwhelmed from all there is to do. So Iโm like 50% likely to do something on meds and 20% off.
Lol, those percentages are so accurate and it's so sad ๐ Even medicated there's a chance my brain just will. not. prioritize what we had discussed focusing on.
You referred to your brain as a separate, sentient entity hahahaha!! I thought I was the only one, honestly, and it made me laugh HARD just now to find out that I'm not.
Thanks I will follow this. Just need to say it out loud few times and it will enter my mind :)
They help me push past my executive disfunction, most importantly, but also to stay focused and on task. They also kind of act as a ritual that starts a "Get it done" mindset, like taking my pill sets my intention for the day.
I had to go off my meds for a few months, and while my habits were harder to do, they weren't impossible like they felt before I had built them. I was able to rely on habit muscle memory.
Thanks but how you built them ? I'm on medication ( Methylphenidate) and I still struggle. We don't have a large choice of treatment on my country. I feel I can do more, but I still fail to. So I am curious how you succeeded to built those habits. How you avoided our usual pitfalls, by example.
I think that's going to be something personal to each of us. For me having medication gave me the give a damn to, for instance, make sure all dishes are handled before bed. Pre-meds I'd let them go "til the next day" far too often, with meds I was able to make a nightly rule that the sink has to be empty. When I had to go off meds that rule was still in my head, and I knew that if I didn't keep the rule I'd undo the habit and leaving dishes in the sink wouldn't feel "wrong" anymore. So I embraced that "dishes in the sink overnight is wrong" feeling and that carried me through til I got back on meds. (There was MUCH whining, both internal and external, lol, but they got done!)
In the last 8 months I've gone to bed with dishes in the sink probably less than 5 times. And that used to be a HUGE issue for me. But now the rule is engrained enough that I'll plan my evening to make sure it gets done, even if that means doing it in chunks throughout the evening.
It's been a slow process and I'm still not as put together as I'd like to be, and I probably never will be, but the meds are at least giving me a fighting chance.
I basically picked a couple things that felt really important (I brush my teeth every night now!) And found my internal motivation (I hate the way my mouth feels if I go to bed without brushing) , as well as the tricks to make sure I did the things (I'm not allowed to turn off the bathroom light til I brush my teeth, that way I can't sleep cuz the light is on) and once those new rules are easy to follow I have the mental space to pick something new to add.
I wish I could be more helpful, but like I said, I feel like each of us have so many variables as to what works and what doesn't. I'm also pretty sure I'm on the autism spectrum (I keep forgetting to bring it up with my Dr so I can get evaluated, lol) so god knows how that may affect things as far as habit building for me.
There's a YouTube channel I really like, "How to ADHD" , she has great tips for habit building, and because she goes over so many ideas I was able to pick and choose the strategies that felt right for me.