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how's your week going, Beehaw
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this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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Well, it's been a month and a half since I've had a job. Since then, my car got repossessed.
So now my only options are remote (literally live in the middle of nowhere), and I've been getting rejected.
Normally, it doesn't bother me. But it's coming up on one year of shattering a past relationship of 9 years with drug abuse, and it's affecting me.
At least I have one year of sobriety to show. Well, mostly sober (weed).
Coupled with living with family, there's this pressure for me to get a job as soon as possible, but I can't control the process.
All I tell myself is I'm trying.
So, how I'm feeling this week: a bit disassociated from reality and a bit down on luck.
I’m right there with you.
Yesterday I was totally paralyzed with all of the things I need to do. Ended up cooking dinner and that was all. I’ve been on the job hunt for over a year now just trying to find something that brings a little light to my life, but it all seems so soul-crushing.
I’ve also been dependent on cannabis because it makes me feel… normal? Now my medical card has expired and I never used it illegally so I’m facing this dark tunnel alone and it’s overwhelming.
Though I was able to watch my neighbor’s dog and cat for 10 days earlier this month. It was strange to have living things depend on me again. My boy died about a year and a half ago and I’m still not over it. Isn’t this shit supposed to get easier with time?
We aren’t alone in feeling the way we do. Gods know I could use a hug; if you have family there soak up all the time you can get.
Let’s hope that soon we will crawl out of our personal hells and thrive.
The worst will wear off but i don't think there is a universal time frame for how long it will take. I've had many pets and it also depends on how close you were with them and how they died. For those with a traumatic death, it took much, much longer, compared to a pet that peacefully died of old age. Don't wait for the pain to wear off. Just live your life and it will take how long it will take. I do hope you don't have to deal with people saying things like; just bring in a new pet. That is a completely personal decision; for some it might help, for others it might feel like a betrayal.
Wishing you all the best.