this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2023
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Transfem

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Any general advice? Don't try x, or definitely look into y? Be aware of Z?

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You are not the first cis person I've seen giving advice and and this is phenomenal advice, especially for not being personal experience! Thank you very much! I will keep all of this in mind.

I do wonder what brings those of you to check out these spaces. Do you come in from "everyrhing/all"? Or hang out here specifically?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Hey! Nice to see you again! I can't speak for the Artificer up there, but I started on .world, found my main spot in SFFA because it leans into my interests, but I kept seeing blahaj posts everywhere and generally do like the vibe. I've got an account on this instance because I have accounts on a lot of them and just hop around when I exhaust the new stuff in one of them (And kinda of because I still don't fully understand the fediverse. I'm not super technically minded). I don't curate my feed, I just keep it on All to give me a wide net for interesting stuff to read in the mornings.

I've spoken about this before, I'm a gender abolitionist, but I know that society isn't there. That means that some groups need the support that society at large doesn't give, so I try to speak up and help out where I can in my limited scope. In general, I think everyone should have the support they need in life to be happy. And I want people to be happy, so I do what I can and speak up when I can. And blahaj.zone just seems like an overall good place with nice people mostly just trying to have some fun and support each other. It's a great and wholesome support network here and it makes me happy it exists.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In this case, I came from everything/all, but I do tend to subscribe to/read some trans communities, because I think my life and I, as a person, am better for having exposure to trans experiences and trans people.

For as long as I have known that it was possible to be transgender, I have considered myself a trans ally. Unfortunately, for a long while, I was a bit of a wet fart in that respect, because I didn't really know how to be an ally, besides enough vague lip service to assuage my conscience. I try not to blame that past version of me too much, because I hadn't had much exposure to the world at that point, but bloody hell, I'm glad I outgrew that person. I want to keep growing.

And not just for the sake of being a supportive ally (or better yet, an accomplice). Understanding how different people relate to sexuality and gender has infinitely improved my own understanding of my gender, and how gender functions in the wider world. I have never felt more in touch with my gender and the truth of my womanhood than when I am in a truly queer space, where identity and expression can exist independently. It's liberating beyond belief and I cannot state how much my life has improved for the existence of trans people and transness more generally. Intersectional understanding has helped me to be a better feminist, a better disability advocate and a better person.

Also, trans memes are 🔥🔥🔥, so there's that too

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you so much for the honesty 🥲 I can't express how much it means to someone newly realized. I don't blame you for your past self, I don't think I really understood the idea of trans people even 10 years ago. I love, so much, hearing how it affects your own experience (I assume as a cishet, correct me if I'm wrong) it means a lot to me specifically that you do want to learn and grow.

It's honestly terrifying on this side at times. I don't know if I really knew that people like you existed, but, Holy shit! I'm glad you do! 🥹

Shit is difficult, I'm glad people not directly affected care! It really means a lot!

You are so awesome! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I'm bi, which is a pretty key part of the stuff I described above - over the course of coming to terms with my own queer identity over the years, I grew to understand on a much deeper level what the LGBTQ community means to me: there are so many sexualities and gender identities under this umbrella that I can't directly relate to, but the differences don't matter compared to what binds us together - I have a hell of a lot more common ground with trans people than I do with the cis-heteronormative mainstream.

I feel it's pretty important to be a visibly trans-supportive cis woman nowadays, because the political climate is scary as hell, and the vitriol spewers don't speak for women, and they don't speak for me. I have a disproportionate amount of power in the "discourse" just by shouting "fuck you, you don't speak for me" at TERFs and the like.

I may not be trans, but trans people are my people and I will fight to protect my people so we can discover together what is possible for ourselves. Things are scary, but my community grounds me.