Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
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Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Hi, Jasmine,
Yes, it is perfectly okay to transition in any way that you want. It does not make you selfish. You don't "owe it to your culture" to continue repressing by pretending to be something that you're not. There is nothing wrong with being trans, and there is nothing wrong with you being yourself.
As for tackling your internalized transphobia, I would encourage you to stop intentionally seeking out transphobic content online - as you have already identified it is a form of digital self-harm. If there are specific sites that you're going to I would intentionally try to avoid going to them, or block yourself from going there if the impulse is too strong. I think doing this will be a pretty good step, to stop exposing yourself to all the transphobic rhetoric.
I have also found mindfulness helpful in overcoming internalized transphobia to help analyze your thoughts and where they are coming from, but I'm no expert. I would recommend talking with an LGBT+ friendly therapist if you are in a position to see one.
You're right. Maybe there's a reason "going against your culture and parents to do the right thing" is a common trope, and we consider the charactes who did it hero instead of villain.
Still, it'd be hard to reprogram decades of anti-trans stance brought on from my culture, even more so when it's still proliferating and as things gets worse for us.
It's easy for me to avoid them most of the time, but it's very hard when my mood is low. Worse, most of my transphobia nowadays comes from my head, not contents from the internet. I can't exactly turn off my brain to avoid thinking of transphobic thoughts...
A good number of transphobia I had is from anti-trans laws news, which I find easily from most trans communities. When I hear transphobic laws passed, I tried my best to justify them even though I didn't agree with them. It's like I'm putting effort to become transphobic, even though deep down I don't want to.
I think I might if things get worse, but there's practically no LGBT friendly therapists around, nor do I have the money to see one.
Maybe I can contact a trans friendly hotline if they operate worldwide. Maybe like the trevor project or something like that.