this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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Personal Finance

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Trying to get to know the community a bit more.

If you want to share figures (you don't have to) you might probably want to use a throwaway account, better safe than sorry.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is where I'm at. I'm in my early 40s, and have a family. My job is pretty low stress and I have a great work/life balance. Everybody is happy. If it isn't broke, don't fix it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Same- with kids and a wife and a house that is non stop projects I value the time I get to spend away from work a lot. I have a 401k, I’m going for stability over squeezing every last dollar out of every opportunity.

I also think of it this way- I’m a big DIY guy, and the money I save on labor is basically another salary. The fact that I have fun doing it too is a bonus. My work affords me time to do that rather than being on call at all hours.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Same here.

Where do you guys find women who are cool with that lifestyle? I'm so jealous. Every woman I meet thinks DIY is for 'poor people'.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

where do you find your partner?

I'm nearly 40 and every lady I try to date thinks a low stress lifestyle with a work/life balance is a horrible thing. They are all obsessed with 'ambition'. And when i talk about wanting to actually be a father to my children and having a life outside of my job, they basically tell me to f myself and that I am not a 'real man'.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Found mine before I really had a career. Ambition can also be saving for retirement and post work life. I am also a DIY person, I rack that up to having hobbies and wanting to learn stuff outside of work.
I read a lot of biographies about people who've made boat loads of money, and one of the big sacrifices of that is family. You just don't have enough time for making money all the time and managing a family.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Those are toxic people. I met my wife in college. We have kids so if we didn’t both help out, the other would be stuck doing all of it and it’d suck. I handle house repair stuff, big projects, the cars, and split kid duty. She handles stuff I don’t like- like laundry and cleaning up. We both cook but mostly me.

I may not be singularly career driven, but we do really well- I think we’re better off than most people in our age and friend group. I’m 39, she’s 37.

A buddy of mine really struggled to meet someone- he was interested in getting married and having kids and most people out there dating weren’t looking for anything serious, or had lots of baggage.

There’s hope though, just keep putting yourself out there!