this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2023
565 points (94.3% liked)
Asklemmy
44152 readers
1061 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
But, like... so? It's decently socially unacceptable to dress up like Batman and walk around town shouting for the Joker. But you can still do it, and just because it's socially unacceptable to most doesn't mean we should force it on most.
On a helpful side because I do generally agree with the premise (although with lots of caveats) that unplugging a bit is helpful, I have a few thoughts:
If you're on iOS, use Focus modes. If you're on Android, I'm sure there is some equivalent. I have my paid work hours, and then I have "working hours" (I'm salaried, if you're hourly I'd say throw your phone in a faraday cage if you aren't getting paid for it) where I reduce comms. Email is on during paid hours, but probably off during "working hours" except VIPs and a few keywords. Messaging stays on during working hours, but after go off. Subordinates know phone calls for emergency (which are rare.) This is one thing I don't like about the US not settling on a messaging standard - for all of the other iOS using people, they can see when I have a notifications are off, and know when to escalate comms if they really need help. Android not so much.
For work, set boundaries in contracts and what not. If the cultural norm is you're going to be expected to be at your phone 24/7 and it's not paid for and not something you're okay with, either ignore it and let them try to fire you, or realistically just find a new job because that's a shit culture.
For personal, just do whatever the fuck you want. I don't even try to justify it any longer because it's just not reasonable, and if someone really has a problem that I didn't like their post or respond to their text in 0.3 seconds, maybe I don't really care that much they're not my friend?
Also, I generally find that a lot of the expectation that we're always "on" is self-inflicted. I know plenty of people who sending a text message to might be as effective as sending a smoke signal and it just isn't that big a deal? I used to be one of those "I have to answer every message/email/post in 30s" type of people, and when I stopped doing that it was totally fine, except I was far less stressed. And it virtually never led to anything positive. My boss never pulled me aside and said "fastest emailer in the west, here's a 20% raise." I just set the expectation for those around me that my time wasn't important and I was always going to be at someone's beck and call.