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this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy
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Bidet attachments for your toilet are about $30 and you can install it yourself with zero skills in 30 minutes.
Wouldn’t you pay $30 to never have to wipe shit again? Just dry off and that’s it. Greatest thing imaginable.
Any recommendation? EU based ideally.
I'm not sure about EU specific but I'm currently using a Tushy brand bidet and it's extremely simple and wonderful and their website and manuals are full of shitty puns! Also, consider one with a feminine setting as I've heard they're extra helpful.
Also, don't bother with heated bidets - unless you have to worry about the device freezing. My parents installed one in an older house and it would draw quite a bit of power, the lights would noticeably flicker lol
Also the cold water actually feels great.
I've bought so many from them! I have multiple bathrooms, we upgraded once, given them as gifts, and sneaky installed one at a family members vacation house!
If you aim the bidet stream just right, you can also give yourself a mini-enema for an extra clean feeling that lasts all day. And bear down a bit when you wash. It causes the anus to relax, helping to get the bits that get stuck in the folds. The only folks who need to be careful are hemorrhoid sufferers. If you hit an bleeding 'roid with the stream, it's butt-clenching painful. Use the gentle spray setting on those bad 'roid days.
You speak truth that most are afraid to admit. My butthole is clean though and my hemorrhoid much more tame since forgoing the rough paper wiping. Also, it can help speed up the "endless poop" feelings that can happen on a bad stomach day, cause you know you're empty (for now)
People rep bidets all the time, but I don't see many repping the detailed nuances of why the're the shit
I know it's ignorant, but all I can imagine when using a bidet for the first time is shooting my corn hole with a jet of cold water, not knowing how clean it is back there, and using a towel to dry off only to find watered down shit on the towel.
You just use toilet paper to dry
I was reluctant to get a bidet because I couldn't hook it up to a warm water line, and was pleasantly surprised when I realized buttholes really aren't that temperature sensitive. Even in the dead of winter, cold well water shot straight up the butthole doesn't feel cold or shocking at all. Probably impossible to believe unless you try it yourself.
Also, don't be a monster and dry your butthole with a towel. Just use a little bit of toilet paper so if you're still dirty, it's okay. It's not like your whole rear-end gets soaked, it's a very thin steam of water that targets just your butthole, with maybe a tiny bit of spray on the surrounding area
I've always just scooped water out of the toilet bowl to clean my arse. A bidet seems overkill.
You can get ones with heated water and warm air drying capability (they are more than $30 though)
It's only surprising or strange the first time. If you aren't acutely aware of how the water of a shower hits your skin every time you shower, then you won't notice the bidet more than the first or second time.
@whatisallthis @Weirdbeardgame >Just dry off snd that’s it.
Doesn't that still mean you have to wipe shit water off your ass?
Nope just water water. You get better at it and start to know how much time you have to spray before it’s all clean.
@whatisallthis Interesting claim, bidet salesman. I may actually consider it.
Yes. Absolutely.
I’ve got one in my apartment unused. Our toilet’s a weird big moulded piece and I couldn’t get to the plastic bolts keeping the seat on…
Yeah, my last apartment had toilets that weren’t compatible. The supply hose going to the tank actually had a compression washer and went all the way through the tank before attaching to the valve. Like I couldn’t just unscrew the water hose from the bottom of the tank to tie in, because there wasn’t anything to unscrew. The hose just went straight through to the inside of the tank.
I’ve never seen anything like it before or since. It honestly had me baffled, and I was left settling for baby wipes until I could move into my current place. And you’d best bet that during my walkthrough for my current place, I checked the toilet to see if it would work with my bidet. The leasing agent looked at me like I was crazy when I dove behind the toilet, but it’s a new checkbox on my list.
I've read about people connecting theirs by running a hose from the sink connection to the bidet. Normally you'd only do that to get hot water into the mix, but I guess it's also an option to get basic cold water if you're stuck with a fussy toilet.
I did have to shave some of the plastic from mine to get the toilet lid to close naturally. Not the same situation, but they do on occasion, require a little creativity
You've clearly never eaten Pringles.
Edit: I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone who stumbled upon this comment and the thread that follows.
Are you-… Uhh… Are you using Pringles to wipe, in some sort of Three Shells system?
Haha look at this guy! He doesn't know how to use the three Pringles!