this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2024
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Don't forget to never fix game breaking bugs.
30min of gameplay, more purchasable with expensive unbalanced DLC's.
Loot boxes. Because a game is not addictive enough to kids without gambling.
Worst storyline, unrealistic characters.
Add more useless content, like new skins and hats, instead of fixing bugs.
Change mechanics every now and than causing loads of players to loose everything or making expensive purchased items useless.
Make the game subscription based after 6 months, when everyone already bought the base game and extra content, and aren't eligible for refunds anymore.
Make the game pay to win.
Ask EA to publish your game.
Make travel time waaaay to long, no fast travel.
Have way too many collectibles in places which are easy to reach but take a looooong time to get to, with at least 1 per set glitched somewhere impossible to reach.
Did I already say "more DLC's"?
Make multi-player server based, have those servers crash often.
Abandon the project while there's still a massive player base because you're working on the next money-grab piece of junk.
Complain constantly the people leaving bad reviews are just too dumb to understand the concept.
Combined with a single save only mechanic so if you encounter the bug even if it doesn't lead to a crash there is a good chance you have to start over from scratch because your last save game before the bug has been overwritten.
That's a good one.
I also forgot to add it should have a veeeeery slow and long intro, so the actual horrors of the game should start after 2h of running the game so people aren't eligible for a refund anymore.
Even Fromsoft managed to do this by placing geometry wrong. If you can't get out, can't get killed, and don't have any 'reset to last bonfire' option... this is where you live now.
I think every game of theirs since Dark Souls has a decent supply of homebones, and you can always 'suicide out' with the darksign. This a Demon's Souls issue? Never before in the history of video games has so much jank been dropped haphazardly into a pile and ended up creating such a great game. If you can't get stuck on geometry in that, then it's the only technical issue it doesn't have.