memes

Butt stuff doesn't come to the OR all that often - I think the ER handles 99% of those. We only take the worst of the worst, when forceps alone just aren't enough and the patient requires anesthesia.

On that note, the most impressive example in terms of diameter I've been in was a Nerf basketball kinda thing - cantelope-sized ball of that firm foam. Even with the compression of the foam, I would not have guessed it would have been possible for someone to get that up their ass, but one dude found a way. ...or, maybe his 'friends' found a way while he was passed out or something - didn't get the backstory on it, but the logstics behind making that happen would have to be a 2+ person job.

Anyway, getting the basketball out wasn't too crazy - just pulled chunks of foam out until it was in small enough pieces to yank out the rest. The impressive part was the monolith of poop that followed it - idk how long the dude waited between getting the nerf ball stuck up there and actually seeking help from a hospital, but... I don't think I personally produce that much shit in over a week. That didn't come out easy either - the colon reabsorbed like all of the water content from the poop, leaving it all as kind of a hard sandstone texture, so we had to chisel away at that like some kind of rectal archeologists until we got deep enough past the hardened section; then a massive log of more normal looking shit evicted itself and the extraction part was done.

Then we stuck a camera up his ass and inspected the distal bit of bowel for tears, which there miraculously were none.

So... PSA: if you want to stick something up your ass, go get a sex toy that's actually made for that with a widened base so it doesn't get stuck in there.