this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
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How?
Assuming good faith question: The (false) dichotomy of top/bottom implies a power dynamic in which the bottom is subservient to the top. In reality, it's often a simple preference and bottoms can domineer just as well as tops. Some prefer it that way. And there's more than top and bottom. Versatile is the obvious third option (no or changing preference for position) as well as side (prefers non-penetrative sex).
There's this stereotype (may not be the right word) that extends from the above in that tops are more masculine or powerful by virtue of topping, due to the tie with being dominant. Thus bottoms are more feminine and subservient. All of that is false and represents the gay community in a pretty bad, oversimplified, sexist-somewhere-along-the-line way.
The dom/sub axis is not the same as the top/bottom axis (not really an axis).
Sure, but the joke here is turning the dumb jokes of the homophobes against them, right? Calling a homophobe "haha u'r gay n a bottom" is kinda using their homophobia against them, no?
Also, I'm gay myself. If someone said "haha, u like taking it up the ass", I would be like, "sure I do!". Say this to a homophobe n they would be incredibly offended. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But sure, I get why the morals of this aren't so straightforward.
You aren't wrong. It's rather philosophical at that point. There's the "don't say it because it's shitty angle" (quasi-mine, though mine was more a explanation vs a held belief) vs the "take it back from them" angle. Both have pros/cons and I'm not going to pretend I have the 'perfect' answer. The truth is probably that whichever is more effective/least damaging probably varies by context.
It’s not just the top/bottom part that’s problematic, it’s the entire post. The punchline is “Trump and Elon are gay for each other, isn’t that funny?” which centers the idea that it would be bad or wrong for them to be gay for each other, perpetuating the conservative stereotype that there’s something wrong with being gay.
Oh FFS.
We (gay people) have been pointing out the hypocrisy of homophobes with this sort of joke for ages and will continue to do it because it's fucking hilarious. We are, in doing so, celebrating that it's wonderful to be gay and sad that they don't see that or see there at times in-the-closet-like behavior.
The last thing thing I need is a bunch of word police telling me what I can and cannot say.
You know who IS making it seem like there's something wrong with being gay? People like you.
As a “joke” it treats being gay as derogatory. You’re welcome to make shitty homophobic jokes if you want to.
Nobody's telling you what you can and can't say. They're telling you that what you said is in bad taste, and youre telling them to stop saying that.
LOL. I'm pretty sure saying "that is just homophobia, by the way" is exactly trying to tell people what they can and can't say.
I disagree. If someone came up to me and said "Buenos dias! Donde estas el bano?" and I was like "that is Spanish, by the way", I have simply made an observation and have not implied that they aren't allowed to speak Spanish.
LOL. And you seriously don't see the difference between "hey that's homophobic" and someone speaking a different language and pointing that out?
Wow. Ok then.
No. "That's homophobic" and "That's Spanish" are simply statements of fact. It's left up to the listener whether they should continue being homophobic or speaking Spanish after it's been pointed out. It sounds like you've chosen to double down on homophobia. Not the choice I'd make, but you do you. Nobodys stopping you. No es mi problema.
Honestly? You don't make any sense to me. Hopefully you make sense to you.
I'm gay. If a black person uses the N word in a joke are you as presumably Not A Black Person going to instantly assume they are racist? Or will you stop to ask why?
I'm not saying a black person can't be racist or a gay person can't be offensive to other people or even have latent homophobia. But as simplistic as it sounds that's literally the basic argument here. Many straight people saying "hey thar that's homophobic" and one gay person at least saying "nah, that's funny" and being downvoted to hell.
The basic argument of this conversation, between the two of us, was that you claimed people were censoring you, and I pointed out that making observations or even judgement calls about what you said doesn't prevent you from saying it. Absolutely no one is stopping you from saying whatever you want. I don't think anyone even tried to. I sure didn't.
If you want to turn it into "well I'm gay so I can say homophobic things without judgement, like black people saying the n-word" you'll have to do it alone because I have no interest in participating in that discussion.
It's not homophobic you nitwit.
Calling people you don't like gay as an insult isn't homophobic?
Good call, I missed it. We've got layers of shittiness in this meme.
you really can't see how using sexuality to mock someone you hate is homophobic?
Calling a homophobe gay isn't homophobia though, is it
Yeah, it is. It reinforces the idea that there is something wrong with a gay homophobe being gay, rather than the problem being that they are a homophobe.
it's perpetuating the view that calling someone "gay" is somehow an insult.
It's not using sexuality to mock someone. It's using hypocrisy to mock someone.
You know what's the same thing? When gay men call each other fags or lesbians dykes. It's taking what was intended as derogatory and flipping it around to celebrate it. It's the ideal response to bullying assholes of any kind.
I guess it would make it okay to call a black right-winger an N-word and talk about how he can't swim and only eats chicken and watermelon, then?
and I'm sure you know that not everyone is comfortable doing that because of their lived experiences. it's awesome that homophobic jokes don't affect you, but not everyone can distance themselves from them.