this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2023
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A low enough priority that the further I get in my efforts, the more it sinks in with me that I'm mostly wasting my time. It's a hobby more than a skill.
My attempts to learn my family's native language have hit a roadblock: now that I have a handle on the grammar, there is no one for me to speak to. It's frankly pretty upsetting and I'm very discouraged about it.
You're required to know at least a workable amount of English in order to live and work here, so no matter where they were born, there is absolutely no one in what feels like this entire NW hemisphere that I do not already share a language with. And only one time have I ever known before they said. All other times, they've just happened to mention they're from there after I say something about learning it.
Most immigrants I've met are perfectly incognito, and they speak more than well enough for us to understand each other casually. The point of language is to communicate. Goal achieved.
Trying to find a language partner in this situation is proving not only impossible, it's nigh-pointless to even do unless you're bored. It's the same online — nearly everyone already shares a language with me, you'd never guess most of the time, and even country-specific subs sometimes post things in english.
There's literally no one for me to practice on and zero need to practice unless I feel like going halfway around the globe pretty often in order to make the effort worthwhile. At which point they will still speak to me in english unless I'm lost in the super rural areas, and I will simply cry.
I've come to accept that going overseas even once in my life is never going to happen. Europeans seem to vastly overestimate Americans ability to afford to do that. Even if we could, we still have an entire hemisphere to get through first. Which costs significantly less, is almost just as fun, and doesn't take multiple years of work for a skill you'll only ever use once.
You say it's your family's native language and that you have no one to speak it with... I mean... Your family?
My grandparents were turkish and swedish, respectively, but neither took it upon themselves to teach either language to their children. My mother didn't even know her mom knew swedish til she was almost an adult, and the disconnected handful of turkish words was a result of trying to sneak ice cream past the kids. We were all 100% americanized and I feel horribly out of place even though I'm technically only second generation.
I do have relatives overseas, but I understand half of them are dead now. Since I was a kid when my own mom was ostracized, I barely even know any names and as I've said, I've never actually visited or interacted with them in any way. They may not even know I exist, tbh.
I could theoretically message my one remaining second cousin, I admit. You're correct. I have the sense this would be very awkward and I'd honestly rather speak to a stranger than explain who the fuck I am and why they should care.
Bonus points if they turn out to be super racist hypernationalists like my granpa so I get to be rejected by the one remaining relative that hasn't gotten around to it yet. Which isn't a thing that's physically preventing me, the prospect just popped into my head and makes me really sad and it would add to my therapy bills
I kind of get it. My family is Jamaican and even so they haven't cared to speak patois in the house for years nor do they really see the value in helping me learn (assuming they weren't at work), instead laughing at me for messing up words here & there & still speaking US english.
This part, I'm struggling to stay afloat I can't splurge for a intercontinental trip. I can, however, drive my car for a day or less and be in a completely different biome/culture. Each state is essentially it's own country with it's own laws and cultures. An overarching American influence but each place is definitely unique to itself.
I like to learn a language not so much out of practicality though because you're right, we can speak to everyone here with English. I like to learn a language just for the mental benefits of training my brain and learning more about another culture.