this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2024
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Fedigrow
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Ahh... I suspect it's pretty-much just petty jealousy, for my part!
For example-- I happen to be nowhere near able to post on my SubLemmy as often as you and (for example) @[email protected] do on yours. All hail, because you folks are TOPS.
(so once per day is the absolute height of my powers, and meanwhile it sometimes takes me a week to post again, particularly when I'm scorchingly butthurt)
So y'all kinda crush me in that sense, and sometimes, here and there, I just feel like a pathetic failure by not being able to get with that same spirit, or however it's best-described.
I also find that you two are pretty dang *genius* about coming up with fun, hilarious post titles, something I really admire and appreciate. Because really, it's a dang-ol' art! ❤️
We all admire things other people do, we've all got to find our right spot in the ecosystem.
Squid's got the time, but I think that's because of some medical stuff. Blaze does so much community work. Pseudo is always checking out all kinds of activity pub platforms trying to make the most out of all these new tools. I know there's names I recognize but I didn't necessarily read what they do because it's not my thing.
I make most of my posts ahead of time during times I'm just sitting around and post after I eat breakfast, then I can answer questions during my downtime at work while my machines are running.
It stinks you got trashed on in your own community. As soon as I opened it, I knew what it was though. People here get very butthurt on AI stuff, but I don't think what you did is bad. I don't like people that either try to make money off it or pass out off as real photos, but you didn't do that, you just tried to add atmosphere to your story.
I still feel like I stink at this sometimes too. I was worried I was going to dip down to the 3 page of the community ranks before the tournament kicked off. Now I'm almost back to the first. New subs are down, so I feel I've peaked. There's commenters I don't see come by anymore and I feel they got bored with me. Someone new will post and get way more views than my stuff. There's always something.
But I'm here doing my thing. I share what I enjoy and try to get you to enjoy it with me. It's what I'd do if we were trying to be friends in person. I just want this to be a nice place to be, do I do what I feel is conducive to that.
Oh rabbits, I really appreciate that, mate. Like, things are always so much better when we have a kinder, more reasonable, more gentler setting, is it not?
Wait, what???
Ah, okay, I think I get you right there? But bloody-hell (and muvvle-fluffle) mate, absolutely NO-ONE would be able to keep up with that schedule..! (like, is that a TRUE reason to beat yourself up?)
It's like... you set records that should NOT be able to be broken, and then you break them!
Mssr-- you make me proud across a perfect LATITUDE of reasons, cheesy as that may sound, haha. Yet... well... come on. *When* exactly do you get to recognise yourself, right?
"Real me" is a quiet introvert with no sense of self esteem and medicated but still existing major depression. So... never! 😅
You guys get my professional face. I'm here doing my job. It gives me focus and purpose I need. I got all this research to share with you because I'm rather hermit-ish and would rather be learning than doing most things.
When you guys tell me I'm doing good, I do believe you. But my wiring doesn't let me tell me that. I don't beat myself up about it so negatively anymore, but it keeps me pushing forward constantly.
I try to make my shortcomings work for me. I'm glad I get to make so many of you happy. This is more attention and a bigger audience than I would have ever believed I'd have or would have wanted. But I'm not anyone extraordinary, I'm just trying to be the best me.
Late reply, but I appreciate your honesty, there(!)
(er, you might also have noticed that I was having a strong drink while commenting, hehe)
Also, I feel like I can certainly understand you to an extent, in that CFS/ME has crushed much of my self-esteem, such that I've felt for ages that I need to overcompensate, leading me to be rather perfectionistic and not satisfied with 'making the average effort.' Which is kinda dumb, since energy is arguably the biggest thing I lack compared to most others. But yeah, also with a bunch of chronic depression & anxiety to go along with that.
Anyway, I admire the way you understand yourself in these ways, seemingly treating yourself both kindly and pragmatically, if I understand correctly. 🙂
Ah, and now I have some found art to post on the 'Super Bowl' sublemmy...
We've all got to make the best of the hand we're dealt. I try to keep the attention on the positive here, because I feel we currently need it more than ever, but I won't act like I'm immune to the negative myself. I think it's crucial we make it ok for people to share problems and the ways they've found to get help with things.
Especially here, we're building something new, and I want it to be a happy and helpful place. A supportive net culture feels rare these days and I want to foster it all I can.
Whups, I missed this the first time around, but I mutht say (hah, Ed Grimley moment)-- a community in which all content starts with a wonderful owl picture (whether its followed by a bunch of interesting facts or not) is both amazing to me, yet also rife with the potential for members / subscribers to leak out the door if they're not personally engaged, wildlife fans, or major owl-fanciers themselves. Something like that, I suspect.
But anyway yeah, I think I GET you about the psychological competition-thing, even if we tend to manufacture it mainly inside our punkin' ol' heads. Personally I don't really have that problem across the Lemmysphere, but (and some may burn me at the stake for this) I still do post to Reddit sometimes, and it can be completely hit-or-miss, even if (IMO of course) I've found something cool and unique that completely suits a sub, then it gets outcompeted by a dang ol' meme, or just plain ignored. Altho TBF I think there's a post-threshold in most subs, in that one must #1 be subscribed, #2 have sufficient comment karma, and #3 have adequate post karma. Also, there might be a moderator-approval queue!
Oh rabbits, I set out here to respond to your direct comment, but in checking the full comment chain, got fasctinated by an earlier one. Not to mention, it seems like your ORIGINAL comment was directly about vote-share trades, or something like that?
Sorry, A6789 (oof, or do you have a preferred handle?), but I'll try to get back to the interesting things you pointed out just above, and maybe your original concept. 😅
Sorry sorry!
I'm still mainly getting used to be the conversation starter I guess instead of the one joining in. Things are going to be hit or miss, but I've been learning to just roll with it and adapt. I picture it kinda like a comedian honing their set.
I do have a fairly stable group of followers. I remind myself they have other things and interests probably more relevant than owls sometimes, plus people just come and go.
If I had known I was actually going to be someone recognizable I would have picked a better name. I know I can change it, but after this long I have brand cache now... 😝
You're such a godamn badass, 'A6.'
And yet, there it is!