this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2024
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Wombat are extremely powerful. They are expert diggers. They have extremely hard butts and if any predators follow down into their holes, the wombat can kick upwards, crushing their pursuer's skull against the roof.
Despite their little legs, they can run in a straight line up to 40km/h. That puddle ain't shit.
If you hit a roo with your car, the roo bounces off. If you hit a wombat with your tire, it can break the axle and put your car out of commission.
Wombats are the tanks of the marsupial world. Don't fuck with a wombat.
Mortal Wombat
I once came across a large adult wombat just chilling in the middle of a single lane road in a national park. Wikipedia says they grow up to 35kg, but I swear this one was pushing 50kg; like a large bulldog crossed with a pig. One absolutely rotund stocky fur-ball. He continued to waddle down the middle of the road as I swerved from side to side, trying to get him to move over so I could go around. I had places to be, and drugs to consume. He did not give a fuck. He couldn't give one single iota of a fuck. I eventually got outta the car and chased him. I started with a slow jog but he just continued trotting down the middle of the road, keeping his distance. Within about 10 seconds I was sprinting as fast as I could but the majestic chonk wasn't even trying hard; just leisurely galloping. The chase continued for a solid 100 meters before he opened up and just took off like a rocket, accelerating into the shadows before darting sideways into the bushes. I was blown away. I thought the fat little cunt would be slow but he was as fast as a dog. Don't fuck with wombats. They are the honey badgers of Oz.
Came to ask if there are downsizes to hugging and wrapping my arms around that belly! 😢
Not armadillo?
Being that they're from the Americas, I doubt Armadillos are marsupial. Probably closer relation to a sloth than a platypus.
While there are actually several new world marsupials, I'm fairly certain that they're all opossums.
Oh, interesting! I never realised Opossums are actually marsupials. I don't think I'll start feeding wild ones apple slices and petting them like we do brushtail possums, though.
I just came across this chunky Indonesian boy on wikipedia.