this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2024
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So many folks in this thread saying they have to be high to tolerate their families. What's the point of even attending a holiday family get-together if you can't stand them? (Just get high at home with a couple of friends who also can't stand their families.)
Sometimes people's support systems are full of jerks. It sucks, but you can get stuck being dependent on family
Can't speak to others' motivations, but my wife had to "keep the peace" with her grandparents by seeing them on Christmas, even though they were awful people who took pleasure in bullying and belittling her mum. If we didn't show up on Christmas for an hour or two and put up with some snide comments and a few "I'm only joking don't be so serious", then her mum would have to put up with months of full on abuse.
We didn't need substances to cope with it, but I can totally see how people might feel like a drink or a toke with some family they do enjoy socialising with could make it easier to be with family they don't enjoy spending time with, but feel obligated to to avoid hurt feelings.
For whatever reason my mother in law didn't just cut contact and leave them to die alone in their crappy little house surrounded by their hate and resentment and friends who also couldn't stand them. Thankfully they are dead now, so we don't have to put up with them.
For these people, tolerating family for a day is better than having to deal with the shit from not going.
Inheritance
My mom was in this situation. Her dad was an abusive asshole, but his mom was a tyrant, and would disown my mom if she went no-contact. This was a big deal, because her grandparents owned an auto manufacturer. Like, private plane flights across the state for breakfast on weekends rich. And now, here I am...planeless. But with a shitton of respect for my mom
Good on your mom. Lots of people say they'd pass on the money in that situation, but it takes a lot of chutzpah to go through with it.
social obligations, I'd love to just stay at home and watch YouTube videos on archeology (I'm watching this one right now) https://youtu.be/30jMvj4L_jo
Since you linked to Miniminuteman, I assume you are familiar with the excellent Brad Hafford of Artifactually Speaking who ~~dunked on~~ corrected some of Milo's mistakes in a video, and they later collabbed. Archaeology right from the trenches! (I thought I'd mention him anyway, here's a link, too)
Jean-Paul Sartre says that human beings are imbued with radical freedom, which is the ability to do whatever you want. Society can't take away the freedoms you have within your own mind, regardless of social manners or coercion.
For example, you could approach the bad family members in private the day before Thanksgiving, and tell a lie that you're all going to have dinner at a restaurant because the oven broke. It only works once, but it sends an appropriate message.
They may be assholes, but they know how to cook and they have hella food.
My super Christian aunt and uncle were the ones always hosting thanksgiving. But mysteriously after I came out of the closet, my family stopped getting invited.
Their loss
Jesus himself would probably set their house on fire
It's just the addiction talking. These people get high alone at home too.
Love the unironic myopia