this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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Back in 2015, about 5 mo the after my youngest was born, I had the (at the time) most horrific day I ever had in my life. Long story short, I got fired from my job (for mistakenly thinking HR was on my side), my oldest son had a note sent home about a live breakout at his daycare, and it rained so hard in n 30 minutes that my house flooded (the top of the mailbox was almost under water).
I got home and was upset because of being fired (I was already beyond burned out from the job to begin with), and I was trying to patiently sift through my son’s hair to check for lice. I was not a very patient person at that point, said fuck it, and grabbed my hair clippers to shave my son’s head bald. I’ve never shaved anyone else’s head, but my own, so I probably was a little too aggressive, and the unit got hot and burned my son.
My 5mo was crying, so I took him and was trying to calm him down. Around this point the storm of the century began. It was so bad that lightning hit really close to the house (three times). Each time it hit, the lights would go off and back on, and then thunder struck. It was very disturbing to say the least.
Then the water began to rise. And it kept rising. And it wouldn’t stop. No matter how much I panicked and begged for it to stop. I was personally in tears. Then I noticed my neighbor trying to drive through the flooded waters, and her car got swept away by the water. I saw the water reaching her side view mirrors, and I handed my wife the baby and was about to bolt out the door to try to do “something” (it was straight instinct).
In short order, the rain started stopping, and all the water started receding. My panic slowly faded as I realized we weren’t going to drown. In no time my neighbors (most who we hadn’t met yet) all descended on my house with mops, buckets, and fans to help start cleaning up the mess. The carpet and bottom 6” of drywall were ruined. I spent my unscheduled vacation pulling up the carpet, replacing the soaked drywall, and even painting the office (it got flooded too).
Our office and living room was crammed into our dining room/kitchen (thank goodness for open concepts). We eventually replaced the carpet and painted everything. I wet vacuumed my car and removed 16 gallons of water, took out the seats, and put fans on it for a week straight.
Those neighbors became our best friends. We all still stay in touch and have multiple get togethers each year. A lot has changed since that day, myself included. I consider it for the better.
All that to say: this too shall pass.
That's a nice story and all, but what happens when your wife is an immigrant and your neighbors all decide to "do something about it?" Or they just say nothing as the federal goons come to deport them.
There are incalculable ways for this to NOT pass for millions of us. Saying this too shall pass is some privileged bullshit.
First of all, I’m not going to apologize for attempting to comfort anybody. There is no privilege in that.
Secondly, I get you’re mad and scared/worried (or whatever adjective you prefer for how you’re feeling right now), but let me assure you that I am not your enemy. Do not follow in your neighbor’s footsteps; focus your anger where it belongs: the establishment, and billionaires. They are the threat. Not you or me.
Just want to call out, there is harm in false comfort. Building a false sense of security and optimism can encourage people to not take preventative actions. Not every storm blows over.
Every storm blows over; just like each person reads my story differently.
My intention was to acknowledge that things outside of our control can and do happen, and that they can wreck our lives in various ways. It was also meant to demonstrate that panic and thoughtless reaction are not the best courses of action. Through thoughtfulness, and community, any disaster can begin to heal. In no way should that diminish anybody’s struggle.
Is it a ~~perfect~~ good analogy? Not for everyone; maybe not even for anyone. But yes, the storm will subside eventually. The question is whether or not the damage done can be repaired.
Do with that what you will.
I mean, to take an extreme example: the Holocaust. Yes it eventually ended, but the damage was massive. The people who were in concentration camps didn't have the luxury of just riding it out and knowing things will get better.
I understand that people can come together, but there are also people with more negative views and intentions coming together as well. There may come a time when you need to fight for what you believe in or even flee for safety. Unrealistic optimism can lead people into a very false sense of security by building a bubble that's is oblivious to an impending event that could impact them.
The storm may pass, but people may die. Telling those people now that everything will eventually be ok is doing them a disservice.
Fine. Fair enough. I just feel there is a better way to comfort people than misleading them.
The better takeaway is that he put in a bunch of hard work, and so did his neighbors. Help out if you can, reach out for help if you need it. MOST of us are in the same boat, even if we don't realize it.
Or maybe people trying to give each other comfort and hope.
You're still responsible for taking whatever measures you feel necessary but lets not attack people trying to help.
You're not entitled to harm people on your side, we've done that for the last decade and all it's gotten us is a fractured ideology with a hundred different camps of people bitching about minor differences in what progressive things are good or not, and allowed a monster to get elected because nobody cares about trying to make leftists happy anymore. Lash out at someone else who actually deserves it.
Fucking hell, this is why we'll never have nice things. Our side is just as emotional but not quite dumb enough to unify and focus on one target.