Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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I think that is it, I am just so unfamiliar with email and networking in general, it seems way harder than it probably is.
I thought I would be getting a lot of different solutions, but there are only a few everyone seems to employ, mailcow being at or near the top.
Mailcow definitely makes it very easy. Their official docs pretty much walk you through every step and tell you which DNS entries you need.
Bonus with mailcow is, that you basically get a self-hosted equivalent of an Exchange server. So, contacts+calender and so on. Plus some really good antispam features.
It does seem to a lot. I tried setting up DNS for my tailscale account, but I got confused. I am glad when the documentation is good, means I will actually use the thing successfully.