this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2024
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Asklemmy

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Harvey’s Hamburgers counted the times I punched in 1-3 minutes past my official start time (despite me being there 20 minutes in advance all times) as being “late” and fired me based off of this.

The two other employees were both pregnant with the manager so I have a suspicion that I got fired because at that time I couldn’t get pregnant. I still can’t get pregnant now because I’m a man, but I also couldn’t get pregnant back then.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I glanced at your username after reading this and thought it said PregoBoi lol

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Finally after all these years I learned that u actually can get pregnant as a man as long as you eat so many perogies. It’s a food baby and mines named Samantha.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That managers name? Elon Musk.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

Dudes name was Clint. Imagine giving birth to a human child and then looking down at the pink noisemaker and thinking “that’s a Clint”.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Now that there are no other men around I can impregnate all the women. Oh wait, I already did that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Homie out here flexing with his extremely motile sperm.