Asklemmy

43889 readers

809 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

Women of Lemmy, how to pleasure someone that does not enjoy any clitoris stimulation? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

NSFW 72 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Well, as the title says, I'm facing an issue that I'm not sure how to improve.

My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.

She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can't get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.

So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.

Maybe something I haven't tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I'm her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can't figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.

ETA: she does not masturbate, so no guidance or hidden methods on her part.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Probably just ask about it. They could be asexual. Years ago I was with someone who was, and we had sex, a lot of dirty fun, she was totally into it, but she didn’t cum and told me she doesn’t need to. I found out after that she loves having sex just to feel close and connect, not for sexual gratification, she didn’t masturbate either.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_asexuality

Without knowing your relationship history, maybe your partner is somewhere in this space but doesn’t openly talk about it?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

I don't think this is the case as she is hornier then me at times, she initiates a lot and has sexual fantasies. I think that she is just satisifed because this is the best sex she has ever had is it is the only sex she has ever had, so she is missing out on something that she doesn't even know (I think)