Asklemmy

First, I wouldn't tell anyone I was going to die, but I'd go see everyone who is important to me. Even if it was insanely inconvenient for them, I'd do it and tell them I love them. I'm sure it will make all of them angry I didn't say "I'll be dead in 24hrs" but that's now how I want to go out. Everyone crying and blah blah blah. Am I getting on your nerves because you love me but the new born is crying and I showed up unannounced? I know and that's okay. I'll probably smile fondly, give them a big hug and tell them I'll see them when I can. Then I'd get home and start writing. I'd write as much to every person I needed to. If I had anything to say at all, I'd say it. A lot of apologizing and explaining why I didn't say anything but I'd definitely put in a "if you feel bad by the way you acted towards me the last time we saw each other, fuck you. I don't remember being required to consider your feelings about my death. I went out the way I wanted, and I gave you one last memory of me being me. Not everyone standing around being an asshole and crying on everything." Then would elaborate in detail to each one individually what I will remember about them. What I want them to remember about me and who I was. Probably write about the good and the bad, but remind them every other paragraph they have nothing to feel bad for, that I know they loved me and I didn't say anything because I wanted my last time with them to be normal. It would take the majority of the time I have left. Then, idk. Probably depending on my mood in the hours before, I may go find somewhere secluded with a good view or pick one person and tell them so I don't have to go out alone. That one I don't think any person can say for sure till it happened. Hell, I might say fuck it and find anyone I can so I don't go out alone. But I've already faced some of this reality once and writing was the thing that I felt I needed to do most. To explain anything and everything. Don't leave anything up for debate or question. They will all have all the answers to all the questions within days of my death. No wondering this or feeling guilty for that.