this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
49 points (98.0% liked)

Transfem

3447 readers
8 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I can't seem to shake imposter syndrome or doubts about whether I'm "trans" or whether I'm a woman, etc.

Just wondering what you all do when you feel that way, if you have any recommendations?

It makes me feel awful, there is so much commitment to a transition it feels like you have to be certain, but I just don't have constant certainty.

Sometimes I'll sit down and try to analyze it objectively, basically considering the "null hypothecis" - if I am not trans, then I would be cis, if I were cis then a certain set of things would be true (like, estrogen would probably not feel so great, testosterone would not make me depressed, etc.).

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I decided to not worry about labels and instead figure out what I want. Who cares whether I'm Really Trans™ if I get to have a feminine body -- and that's something (if I'm honest) I've wanted so much since... well, as long as I can remember. Do I feel like a woman? Eh, who knows. I certainly never felt much like a man. Or a human, come to that.

And sure, some days I don't want to look at my dysphoria-inducing face practicing makeup, or listen to my dysphoria-inducing voice doing training, and that's fine. Put on some androgynous clothes, cuddle up with Blåhaj and Trust the Process while I watch a film or something. More often than not I end up wanting to do something girly anyway after a while.

And some days, when I get the tuck just right, and my hair isn't too bad, and I've got on some nice tight jeans and a cute sweater, I think: "do I want to be a trans woman?". And the answer is hell, yeah.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The doubts seem to be able to shift from "am I trans" to "is this affirming" really easily. Even when I can feel it is affirming, the non-affirming aspects of being trans, the literal dysphoria that confirms I am trans, can make me feel confused about whether I am delusional about what I am feeling, about what I find affirming, etc.

I think a lot of the doubting comes from fear about being trans, about the commitment and long-term and permanent changes to my body, and so on. In a world without transphobia I might feel some doubts or uncertainty, and that could be difficult (I'm the kind of person that can't get a tattoo because it's "Permanent"), but I think I would have a lot less obsessive doubting, a lot of this is just coming from some kind of survival drive or something, lol.

And yeah, I feel the ups and downs. Androgynous clothes never help me, but some kinds of self-care like shaving can be a bit brutal, having to look at my face in the mirror, etc.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I’m the kind of person that can’t get a tattoo because it’s “Permanent”

I had this too! I think it came from an internalized idea of "I must accept the body I was born with." Gave me a massive crisis when my girlfriend at the time got her ears pierced... I was so close to figuring it all out 20 years ago!

Now I've allowed myself to change my body, that's all just vanished. Still don't fancy a tattoo though :P