Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
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Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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I had a lot of doubts before coming out and getting on HRT. Now I know I am a woman, sure I still have days I don't feel pretty and dysphoria gets me down, some days I don't feel like a woman and I just feel like me.. But before HRT I never felt like me, I had nice distractions time to time, but I never felt comfortable in my own skin and now I have that most of the time. <3
Some days you don't "feel like a woman", but on days when you "feel like a woman" what is that like for you?
I find there is almost a psycho-social aspect to "feeling like a woman" - that getting dressed up, wearing makeup, and then being in society as a woman results in something remarkable where I begin to see myself as a woman more.
I have habituated seeing myself as a man in this same psycho-social way, and in my dreams I sometimes revert to a "man" this way, and sometimes in my dreams I am a "man living as a woman" in that particular trans way (where my body is neither fully male nor female, and I try to live as a woman but feel insecure in that position).
All that said, I felt like being a man was more truly a deception somehow. For whatever insecurities I have as a woman, being a woman doesn't make me feel like I'm putting on a fake character or show for people the way that I felt when I tried to live and pass as a man (the fact that I felt like I had to "pass" as a man when I was assigned male at birth is maybe a sign here).
I agree that I feel much more comfortable in my skin, but sometimes it feels like maybe some dissociation thaws and I suddenly become much more sensitive to my male body - like all the positive effects from transitioning overshoot and I suddenly expect myself to be a cis woman in a cis woman's body, and reminders that this isn't true then are even more disturbing than it felt when I felt fully like a monster but felt so far away from being "me" in my body.
I discussed this with my partner, this was a huge comment to unpack. And we agree that maybe you aren't quite feeling doubts, but instead insecurity/imposter syndrome. And that is something I mean when I say I feel not like a woman some days, and in others that I don't feel as pretty as I'd like. We have some extra baggage having come from a testosterone heavy past and we experience the same insecurities a cis person would experience with that added.
That said in the social aspect I receive a lot of affirmation, and I honestly don't even try to pass. I struggle but honestly I have to recognize that most of my battles are between me and my mirror, colored by thoughts of my pre-transition self.