this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2024
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Don't buy a ring for engagement unless you know for sure that they a) want an engagement ring, and b) are 100% gonna say yes.
Marriage shouldn't be a surprise.
Marriage isn't a surprise but the engagement can be.
Neither the question nor the answer should ever be a surprise.
The time, and location of proposal are the surprise.
When I asked my now wife, I knew for sure she was going to say yes, and I knew she would want a simple ring with her birth stone instead of a diamond.
She had no idea I was going to ask her in the manner I did while we were out camping. that was the surprise for her. Not the question itself.
The engagement can be a surprise didn’t read any differently to me than what you laid out. The only surprise for my wife was that I got her dad’s blessing since that was important to her and when/how I went about it. Was in our home, I’m not someone that feels anyone else needs to be involved. To me our engagement was still a surprise but she had already participated in ring shopping with me and we had obviously discussed thoroughly before hand.