Transmasc

Yeah if you moved from like the US south to PNW for instance, I personally know someone who's done the move and is trans who found themselves feeling kinda the the same thing bc of how standoffish ppl here are. I did the move ten years ago and personally loved no longer being roped into being social with everyone, but it does legitimately mean i greet ppl who never even acknowledge me and sometimes that makes me feel rejected/judged even though i know it's not personal.

For me, i appreciate knowing that no one around me cares enough to pay attention, but i grew up in a small town. I don't find ppl as involved in my business outside the south, but I know the social scripts of greeting and interacting makes some ppl feel safer/as if ppl care even though they're just as likely to dislike you where im from.

But yeah idk progressive folks ironicly care LESS to pay too much attention. They'll often glance and assume queer and then just try and guess based on their feelings of gender which can be just as bad and stereotype ladened as anyone from anywhere. Right now a lot of ppl are fucky on gendered traits even if they mean well cause of culture war stuff. I know trans ppl right now who clock others the wrong direction. Everyone is sensitive of upsetting others but no one will just ask pronouns if they arent sure. I HATE how chicken shit scared everyone is up here about everything!

Ppl in the US south sort of culture, in my experience, dont have enough to do so they're always bored. ppl in progressive places got shit to do and want to end any exchange as fast as possible regardless of who you are and usually dont really pay attention during the exchange to the person they're talking to cause they're in their own head about their shit. (・_・;) making friends can be really hard here too :(

Um. I could be totally wrong i am definitely not an authority, but your experience made me think of this. My friend has been here 5 years and is only just now realizing that ppl here disrespect everyone by not paying enough attention to even TRY and get pronouns right for anyone slightly gender nonconforming (this even means traits on a cis person others have just decided should be only one one gender presentation even though humans aren't really very sexually dymorphic) in appearance cis or no right now.

They just guess and I see it wrong all the time for cis people too. It's not to diminish your experience! Im closer to 40 than not and have seen lack of care trigger someone just as much as genuine transphobia and it doesn't make the dysphoria less anguishing im so sorry. 💙

Edit: i think my friend told me something like "where im from they're just honest when they hate you, here it feels like less people care or hate me, but more people here feel like they don't want me around at all regardless of anything about me personally. And that happens more often here than the hate did there." if you can relate to that!