this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2024
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I was definitely a dumb high school student. At no point did I think it was ever ok to use the n-word though.
Sure, but did you grow up in a community with a healthy population of minorities? If so, then you probably don't really have the same experience as these kids.
When you don't actually know anyone a slur references, it's pretty easy to not take it seriously. A lot of my friends in school make "gay" jokes, until we made friends with a gay kid, at which point we stopped because we suddenly had a personal experience with it. That's how a lot of these types of things go.
Edit: not -> so (first paragraph made no sense)
Yes but also racism and homophobia deserve derision and to be laughed and joked about in ways that don’t hurt people. Hear me out. It’s a weird situation because the people who are offended by it deserve to be and are valid but so are the people that say stuff like “telling people that you can’t say that word gives it power” because it absolutely does.
It’s why myself and my gay partner will jokingly use slurs in private. Because it’s funny and we’re mocking the people that hate us. And by using their words as a joke, we take the sting out of them. Because it’s absurd theyre used seriously in the first place.
So we exist in this weird spot where we’ve said “yes the gays can reclaim their slurs. And yes the minorities can reclaim their words. But no one else can say them” and it’s like sure but then other people aren’t able to properly take the sting out of the words.
Not saying there’s a right answer, I’m just saying that we have weird standards that may not be serving our goals.
The most compelling case I've seen for keeping them is to protect against exploitation and commodification. For example, there's a long history of AAVE/BVE words and phrases that have been considered vulgar and uneducated until co-opted by white communities. "Woke" is a particularly topical example: A word meant to evoke unity and self-awareness in the black community has been co-opted by (mostly) white conservatives to rally against progressive and inclusive policies. Reclaiming the n-word means using its taboo nature as a shield, saying "this is our word, and you can't have it." You can't go on the campaign trail and complain about n*ggers, but you also can't forget where it came from and what it meant. It's a living word that carries its history forward into the modern age so we don't forget the crimes of the past.
I've likewise seen use of the f-slur as a rebellion against rainbow capitalism. Companies will take pride flags and symbols and words and sell them on t-shirts and use them in commercials. These are things that were all made with intention and symbolism by the queer* community and flown in the face of danger, but companies really don't give a shit about that because well-meaning people will give them their money to support a cause. Come July first, though, do you see them selling that merch, donating to LGBTQ+ causes, or supporting their queer employees? Of course not, if anything that all gets thrown under the bus for whatever financial issue the company is having. The f-slur is again saying "this is our word, and you can't have it." It's often used jokingly or even affectionately by the queer community, but you're not going to see it printed on a mass produced shirt or said in an ad. It belongs to them and them only, maintaining the history of its creation and reclamation without being diluted by commodification.
It's also important to remember that the words have not lost their sting for many people, especially those who still often hear it said with malice towards the targeted group. We should acknowledge they they are not at a point where they cannot hear the word without those strong, negative feelings, and we can do so by respecting requests not to use it in certain spaces and calling out others who are not as sensitive.
I think that’s a fair point. I can definitely see that angle because it does seem that when used within the community it can have an almost positive aspect that can be taken away. Interesting way of thinking about it.
After reading your whole comment I’m left wondering if you had a point at all, none of that needed to be said…
??? I was explaining the rationale behind reclaiming slurs while making them still exclusive to the targeted group.