Selfhosted
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If you are port forwarding. I recommend not exposing it on the default port of 25565 and instead expose it as a random port. Then, assuming you have a domain name, create an SRV record that points to your IP and port. This will cut down on the drive by scanners who scan by ports, but won't totally eliminate it. If you do use the SRV record, your friends won't even notice there's a different port.
I am not sure if there is a good way to do it without scripting, and a router that would allow for taking variable input from an external script. But theoretically if the router would support it, you could script a port change at times there are no one on the server.
Essentially the server port is in a text file, you could use some command line utilities, and write a script leveraging something like sed to change the port in place.
But I am overcomplicating it. lol