1310
this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
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st peter at the pearly gates: "yup, looks like you're up 14 carts overall. welcome to heaven."
All sins and virtues get converted to cart return equivalent.
"14 carts positive, plus those 4 times you helped old ladies cross the street adds 12 more carts, minus 8 carts for the time you tried to help one but ended up punching her instead (it would have been 10 but it's reduced by 2 because Dionysus was watching that one and said even he would have had trouble holding his temper and he's a pretty chill dude). You're up 18 carts overall, congrats!"
"update, your next of kin bought 2 model golden shopping carts from the temple and put them by your gravestone, getting you to a nice round 20. here's your all-access pass to the Garden of Delights"