this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2024
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I was raised by hoarders. I was the only one who ever did any cleaning. I was the only one in the house who knew how to operate the washing machines and vacuum cleaner at age 10. I made huge efforts sometimes to keep the place clean and organized, which turned into huge dramas as my parents used the new clean space as a reason to fight and be victims, until they would bring more shit in and leave it piled on top of the old shit.
To this day, if I could live in a blank, white box with nothing else at all, it would be heaven.
I get you. I don't think my parents were hoarders necessary but they had trouble throwing things out that were still good. I guess them growing up in poverty has changed them in a way. Back when I was young my dad used to be looking for jobs a lot and things were tight. I think that may have influenced me as a person.
My mom always used to keep things tidy, even with lots of stuff in the house. Even after my dad passed away. But since her brain infarction she started going downhill.
I try to clean up and at least sort things out and store them together when I get the chance. But due to chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia I am slower with getting things done. But we'll get there. And one difference, we don't save trash and newspapers.
What I'm saying is, it's not as bad as I made it look. And I'm not complaining. I'm glad you are in a different place now. That must've been hard on you as a child. Probably in more ways than one.