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I don't think anyone will be able to hash anything out. It is a fundamentally different way of approaching things.
Beehaw wants to be a safe-space with strict rules. They dont want fast growth and do not want open registrations.
The other instances want to provide (many) new users with accounts. They give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they actually misbehave. Even if it means more effort for their moderators.
There is no compromise. I think we need to split the network. Or beehaw needs to disable federation altogether and be done with it. There might be a technical solution with something like Pleroma's Message Rewrite Facility (MRF) but at this point we don't have super fine controls on lemmy (yet).
I'm not sure if I'd like to excuse any way of talking. I like that direct way of talking. They attacked a decision, not any person. I also like to say whatever i want while solving problems, without any complicated social etiquette or putting additional effort in social interactions. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes somebody else tells me I made a bad descision. I can handle that. I just think being blunt, overstepping a bit or being allowed to vent is a healty way of dealing with human emotions. (If you only do it every now and then and within strict boundaries. We still want a positive culture of dealing with errors/failure and a constructive way of dealing with hurdles.)
But sure. I don't get to decide how you (or the beehaw admins) like to be addressed. And what I said is only true for limited things. I don't like attacking people or yelling at people. That's not okay. But they didn't do that.
I believe everyone's goal here is the same: To provide people with a platform they like. It's just people like different things and different ways to interact. And some just don't go well with others.
I agree. And i don't know if the admins talked to each other or just pulled the trigger and/or issued statements. I don't know the whole story and I shouldn't judge.
In the end it's just sad that our small federated world needs to be split up into even smaller chunks. I don't think this is healthy. But i don't have any solution to offer.