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Sorry for the potentially controversial question: is it normal for less attractive people to settle down with partners they don't find physically attractive? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I really wasn’t attracted to my now husband at all when we met. I remember also really disliking his smell (not BO, just regular pheromones or whatever).

11 years later we are extremely happily married and he’s sexy as fuck. His appearance hasn’t changed (except that he’s actually a little overweight now and looks a decade older) but every day he’s just hotter and hotter. Not like a “I just love him so much on the inside.” Like I genuinely perceive him to be extremely physically attractive (and equally good to smell) and look back on early days with complete confusion.

n=1 so grain of salt and whatnot, but I’d say if you’re vibing enough to make this a question worth asking then it’s probably worth giving it a shot to see if attraction develops

Edit: Please don’t actually tell them you’re not attracted to them though. That’s weird and unnecessary. You don’t need to lie either, just don’t comment on their appearance until/unless you start to notice those little things that have grown on you.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I guess, but like, what if I can't get it up, when things progress that far? (The genders are reversed here) Or just am obviously hesitant?

I feel like that's the worst time to have to explain.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Lol. I get it, but it doesn't have to be a big deal. Just don't explain. They'll just figure they need to figure out different ways to stimulate, which is true anyway.