this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2024
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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

So I know everyone is going to answer "yes", but I want actual real thoughts. I just want to know where I fit in.

I'm AMAB, and present as male, at least on the surface. I've always felt that was wrong though. But I don't necessarily think I'm a woman. I wish I was more feminine. And recently I started full body laser hair removal, and I have pretty long hair, and currently have my toe nails painted. But I also have a beard, and otherwise present totally as cis.

Am I "trans"? I don't feel "cis", but I feel like calling myself trans just isn't accurate and is inappropriate. Is there any other option?

And a complicating factor is that I'm basically only attracted to female presenting people. I see a lot of mtf trans people posting online "t4t". Would other trans people consider me "trans"?

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

Why do you feel like calling yourself trans isn't accurate, or is inappropriate?

What about being attracted to women complicates whether you are trans?

Before I started hormones I felt pretty much the same way you do, I wanted to be more feminine but didn't feel comfortable considering myself a woman and the label trans felt alien. Rarely are people able to look inside and see "oh, I'm a woman". Give yourself time to think things through and the grace to be uncertain sometimes. My conception of being a woman certainly changed a lot once I started to transition. You may find reading Julia Serrano's Whipping Girl helpful, it was certainly important for me.

This series of videos made a big difference for me as well. They were the videos that made me confront the fact that I was probably trans and I should start transitioning. Maybe you will find it helpful, too?

I know trans people who have used the book You and Your Gender Identity (note: that link is a PDF). It is a workbook of sorts that guides you through questions about gender.

I also really found Mia Violet's Yes, You Are Trans Enough affirming. Not every trans person has the same experience or background, but Mia Violet and I shared a lot of similarities, and that helped me when I was struggling with severe imposter syndrome early on.