this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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Mildly Infuriating
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As a professional in this field, top reasons would be...
Edit: I should also point out we have about half a dozen ping-pong tables scattered around my work and our turnover figures were bang on average for annual benchmarking against the sector. I consider the average too high, though, and will be targeting better retention over this year. We'll need at least double the amount of ping-pong tables.
I don't see pizza party or ping pong table on that list so you're obviously not a professional.
A real professional knows employees want pizza parties instead of higher pay and they want more responsibilities with the same pay!
:P
Pizza party solves everything!!
Or...a lemon party!
I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?
Make lemonade, obviously
Make some kind of lemon powered rocket launcher and force life to take it's lemons back!
But I have no money and lemons are expensive! If only there was a way we could acquire lemons without paying for them... Anyone know where I could find a lemon tree?
Consult our mutual friend, the Lemon Stealing Whore