this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2024
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Autism

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I'm an officially diagnosed Autistic and a self diagnosed Narcissist. AMA (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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This was suggested to me by @[email protected].

  • I'm a late teen (17). I got an autism diagnosis (which still causes more problems, than good) when I was three years old.
  • You already know a lot about autism (since most of you are autistic), so you don't need any explanation (even if it's a spectrum).
  • Now let's explain why I think I'm a narcissist: When I entered high school a few years ago, I started feeling superior to my schoolmates. At first I felt, this was justified, as I have way better grades than my schoolmates (and had a way higher admission score (or whatever it's called) than others), but later I realized, it was unjustified, as even if I'm smarter, than everyone, I have other challenges (executive function, procrastination of anything related to communication). That wouldn't be anything weird, but even after that realization, I just can't grasp the fact my schoolmates aren't stupid and useless. AMA

PS:I know it's a way too long post and doesn't belong here, but it is what it is.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Edit from future me: This got long quick, but I assure you this is info that could be valuable to you!

Hey OP, good work trying to learn more about yourself and sharing it amongst others instead of creating your own echo chamber.

I'm in my 30s and autistic. I had a very similar experience to you in HS especially, and the military after that.

My nephew lives with me because I'm the only one in the family that "gets him"--most of the others in the family think he's a narcissist. He's not, and I don't think you are either. When this came up in the family, I did what autistic people do and deep-dove this. Here's my thoughts in no particular order:

  • as a rule of thumb, if you're considering if you're a narcissist, you're likely not. Narcissists will often know they're being shitty to people, but either won't care or will barely care, and squash it down.

  • there are a couple "levels" of narcissism: having narcissistic traits is something common in most if not all people. They may not have all of them, and the motivation will be way different, but most people have at least a couple. The more severe/clinical level of narcissism is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it is extremely dangerous. NPD people are often violent when receiving criticism and/or when they lose control.

  • Side note: you cannot even be diagnosed NPD until you are 18, and NPD is like a fork in the road: the longer you stay on the narcissist path, the more severe you get.

  • Narcissism is a learned behavior and is treatable, if you choose. If you can get professional help that is of course best but there are self-guided resources to help learn healthier habits if professional help is not possible.

  • I'm not sure how far you got in your studies, but there are 9 signs of a narcissist, and you described maybe 1.5 of them. I'm not sure if you didn't come across the others but here's a quality article about them: https://www.dukehealth.org/blog/9-signs-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder

Good on you for making it this far if you did. If you need anything about this, feel free to reach out. I am not a professional but psychology is my special interest and I can provide sources from actually qualified people for everything I say. I wish you luck in your endeavors!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Wow thanks. My mother often verbaly attacks me for not showing empathy (for example, when we were watching a shitty movie about a sociopath manipulating and murdering a family, I said I have no empathy for them, as they should have noticed the sighs and got rid of him while they had a chance).

  • Some of these actually describe me:

  • Sense of self-importance - I think, I should be considered above average in intelligence.

  • Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success  - When I describe myself, I make small changes to my behavior and things I say (probably just masking).

  • Entitled - If someone does something to me, I perceive unfair, I make sure they suffer.

  • Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain - only if linked to the last statement

  • Lack empathy - to people I hate or perceive bad.

  • Must be admired - My self esteem falls if nobody tells me i'm significantly above average in something.

  • Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them - I used to envy my classmate, who was described as a genius by the whole class. Later this fell apart as he stopped learning as much. Now, he is percieved as a unsympathetic, self centered person.