Asklemmy

43733 readers

1538 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

What do you think of the term "short king" as a term that's supposed to champion body positivity for men? (lemm.ee)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

89 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Body positivity is such a strange concept to me. There's efforts to reclaim words while simultaneously calling them bad if used as an insult. Ideally, people wouldn't be offended by someone describing their body with common descriptors, but socially there is so much value attributed to certain body types that it's almost impossible to avoid having an emotional response of some kind to various descriptors.

For example, It's not bad to be fat, but calling someone "fat" is almost universally considered a bad thing. The same definitely seems to go for the idea of being "short."

I'm asking this question because I can't put my finger on why but something seems to be different about the use of the term "short" from the use of the term "fat." I think that part of it is how, to me at least, the term "fat" is so generic and hard to nail down to a discrete definition, implying that the word really doesn't have a clear connection to reality. On the other hand, height is a single-dimensional number. You either are above a certain threshold, or you aren't.

I recently learned that May 6th to May 10th is "short king week" because it's 5'6" to 5'10" which then prompted me to search for the origins of "short king" and apparently the person most-credited with popularizing the term is Jaboukie Young-White who claims the term was meant to include all men under 6 feet tall. The average adult male height is 5'9" leaving men considered roughly average to be called "short" which is still considered an insult by many.

I dunno. As a term that was intended to champion body positivity compared with how the term is actually used, what do you think of "short king?"

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I think that you have internalized a version of body positivity that lies on the most extreme end of what is meant by that phrase. Body positivity - be comfortable with who you are and do not put down on others due to their body.

The odds are that I am significantly fatter than you. The odds also favor that I am significantly stronger than you, even if you lift weights. I can also probably walk all day much farther than you can.

Would it be healthier if I lose body fat? Absolutely. Have I tried for 20 years to do that? Yes. I am not ignorant regarding nutrition. I am not lazy. I am not overall lacking willpower. I am fat but otherwise healthy.

Body positively means that my doctor treats my body fat as what it is - one aspect of my overall health. He does not assume that every problem I have is because I am fat, even though changing that would improve some aspects of my health.

Body positively also means that I am not going to hide when I go to the beach. I am going to go shirtless and enjoy myself. If you do not find me sexually attractive, that is fine. If you are going to shame or mock me for my body fat, then you are an asshole. If I catch wind of you mocking me, I will quietly estimate how many times your bodyweight I will deadlift on Monday. If you choose to mock the scars that cover parts of my body from extreme, life-saving surgery, I may feel the need to firmly educate you on exactly what sort of asshole you are.

Body positively often conjures the image of a morbidly obese girl on OnlyFans who lets people pay to watch her binge and intentionally get fatter while she says being purposefully inactive is just as healthy as hitting the gym. The real versions of that person are extremely rare, but their radicalism, vociferous nature, and platform make their voices much louder in comparison. Their argument is also easy to find flaw with and mock, so they get used as if they are a typical example of body positivity.

You are right in that the woman I describe above needs help and is not behaving in a safe or healthy way. I also understand why you might think that is the norm. She is not, though, and I would encourage you to look deeper at the meaning of the "movement."

The "you" above is generic and based on broad assumptions. You, the reader, might be stronger than me and have way more endurance than me. You also might be fatter than I am. The odds are very good that you are also not an asshole. My point was to call out variances from the norm as convenient examples, of which I have plenty in both directions.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

If you’re a hundred pounds overweight, you should not be comfortable with who you are. People who support or celebrate morbid obesity are bad people.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (3 children)

It does not appear that you are really listening to others to do much as commenting pithy things, and I am not sure if you have some specific reason for this or if you are just picking fights.

But let's still break this down. Literally no one here is talking about celebrating morbid obesity. That is pretty much a straw man at this point.

Morbidly obese people should be able to look in the mirror and think to themselves, "I look good today!" They should be allowed to go out without worry that someone will make fun of them. They should be able to go to the doctor and be heard instead of the doctor assuming every health problem is only caused by obesity.

If you disagree with the above statements, please be very clear as to why. Everybody deserves quality medical care from their physician. Everybody deserves to not hate themselves. Everybody deserves to not be kicked for their appearance.

No one is saying, "Woo-hoo! Try to be so fat it harms your health!" I would suggest you read up on the science of weight loss and why so many little are obese these days. There is not universal consensus, but there is general agreement that the deck is highly stacked against many people, and extra body fat is not a simple condition to deal with in many circumstances.

People should try to lead the healthiest lifestyle they are reasonably able. No one is stating otherwise.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Your other comment I can't respond to for whatever the Lemmy reason lol, I very much like your take on these matters, also slightly adjacent, what is your dead?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Thank you. I don't have notes handy, but my deadlift was around 360 lbs. for 8-12 when I was last training it directly. A few health-related issues have sidelined my lifting for a couple months (post-cancer life sucks sometimes), but I am cleared to get back into the gym next week!

My legs are where I really shine, with my calculated one rep max for the sled press up in the mid 800s and working sets in the 600s. That is my lift where people stop and look twice.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

Maybe no one "here" is celebrating it but I see it in pop culture a lot. I agree, no one should be making fun of people. I never suggested otherwise.

Our culture accepts that being 50+ pounds overweight is perfectly fine. This should not be normal or okay. Everyone should feel personal responsibility to live a healthy lifestyle but our public acceptance of being obese has shifted the scale, so to speak, of what is normal.

No one is talking about what a normal healthy weight is because that would impact revenue for food producers. No one talks about what a healthy lifestyle is because that would impact revenue of the entertainment industry. We live in a sick world that promotes laziness and addiction and being overweight. We care more about watching Netflix than we do about playing outside.

Again, I don't know where people got the impression that I'm supporting making fun of people being fat. I'm saying that we as a culture should not accept that most of us are fat. Body positivity is detrimental to a person's physical and mental well being - that's not to say they should be "shamed" or "made fun of". People should be aware of their flaws and supported to achieve personal goals. Our culture should shift away from the couch and DoorDash and towards the park and healthy food prep.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Yeah, shits me to tears that people think it's OK,

I lost 35kgs through diet exercise etc and I felt absolutely amazing at the 30kg loss mark.

Didn't think I felt bad at 125kg at 6ft tall when I hit 95 I felt amazing. Knees joints life everything easy.

Getting down to 90 on strict diet was hard and life just wasn't fun anymore. Sure 6pack was cool and all but just no fun. I'm not blessed with those skinny genetics.

Anyone who's fat and not been skinny in their adult life shouldn't think they're healthy and happy because everything is better when you're actually at a healthy weight.