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Daughters and Fathers (lemm.ee)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

50 comments fedilink hide all child comments

This is a serious question, mostly addressed to the adult women among us but also to anyone else who has a stake in the matter.

What did your father do for you/not do for you, that you needed?

Context: I have recently become a father to a daughter, with a mother whose father was not around when she was growing up. I won't bore you all with the details but our daughter is here now and I am realising that I'm the only one in our little family who has really had a father before. But I have never been a girl. And I know that as a boy, my relationships with my mother and father were massively influential and powerful but at the same time radically different to each other. People say that daughters and fathers have a unique relationship too.

Question: What was your father to you? What matters the most when it comes to a father making his daughter loved, safe, confident and free? To live a good life as an adult?

I'd like this to be a mature, personal and real discussion about daughters and fathers, rather than a political thing, so I humbly ask to please speak from the heart and not the head on this one :)

Thank you

P.S Apologies if this question is badly written or conceived; I haven't been getting enough sleep! It is what it is!

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (5 children)

As a father, love your child, accept your child, and above all listen to your child.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Thanks so much for your advice. Listening has come a lot in this discussion and I wasn't expecting it... Why is that? is it because listening shows a daughter that she matters?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

You won’t always know what’s wrong with your daughter or what she needs but if you listen to her, like really listen, she will tell you which is so much more important.

In the long term, her being about to tell you things will make her feel safe and validated, it will strengthen your bond with each other, and it will help her develop the emotional intelligence to express herself in a healthy way that so many kids are missing these days. It’s win win win.

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