this post was submitted on 13 May 2024
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Man not to be that person, but whenever I hear things like this I'm just always happy I don't have kids. As soon as work is done that time is mine, and I spend it however I want to.
Sunday just past was mother's Day in Australia.
Multiple women I know asked for 'a day off' from the family as their present i.e. their husbands took the kids out for the day, or they themselves went out to lunch by themselves, shopping etc.
I have my partner and my dog. There is no experience that they both don't enrich. I enjoy my own company and have an active social life. But I'm also drawn to opportunities to be around them, or include them if I can.
Women especially just seem to have the life sucked out of them by their families - both by the experience of raising children but also, more often than not, the uneven distribution of labour/parenting in their relationships.
I don't look forward to Mondays, even though we both work from home, simply because I have to spend more time at my desk than hanging out with my partner outside in the sun, or cuddling my dog. Those are the things I'll look back on fondly. Not getting time by myself to organise other people. Sheesh.
This is what I see, and it's what I don't want for my partner and I. They're pretty much in the same place, we see families running tired, they swear it's worth it, but then they never have the time or money to go on vacations, getting sitters is a rarity for them, and they just sit at home every day, week after week doing the same thing.
My partner and I are dinks, double income no kids. We just got back from our second vacation this year. I really have no interest in giving up that lifestyle for kids when the best I hear is "well they make the stress worth it". Mhm, I'm sure
I feel similarly, but not always entirely. I have intense social anxiety and 0 friends and no significant other so I get lonely at times and work is how I socialize with people.
But when people talk about life with kids it sounds like a living nightmare. I don't mean that kids or evil or anything and I think playing with my niece or my acquaintance's kids can be fun for a few hours...but just the fact that it's a 24/7/365 constant of taking care of them. And you absolutely never get to do anything for yourself anymore. Sounds like constant torture until you fucking die. I'd probably go nuts and stab myself.
I think I'd probably take my lonely life over that but I guess I've never truly lived the alternative to say.
Raising kids is very fun but also very hard. Having adult kids is awesome!