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Yea it gets difficult. I also don't like the idea of artificially trying to insert the Fediverse into discussions whenever possible, just to make people aware. It feels very artificial or forced or like propaganda or something. And then you get into astroturfing as you say.
But what's the alternative? People aren't going to discover the wider social internet when they only visit the 5 biggest websites.
Indeed.
Currently people discover Lemmy through a few ways
To improve the second point, if any major tech blog would write about Lemmy, that would give a huge boost of visibility, but usually when they mention the Fediverse, they mostly speak about Mastodon.