this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
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Men's Liberation

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About the bear... (lemmy.sdf.org)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
123 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

So, I'm just assuming we've all seen the discussions about the bear.
Personally I feel that this is an opportunity for everyone to stop and think a little about it. The knee-jerk reaction from many men seems to be something along the lines of "You would choose a dangerous animal over me? That makes me feel bad about myself." which results in endless comments of the "Akchully... according to Bayes theorem you are much more likely to..." kind.
It should be clear by now that it doesn't lead to good places.
Maybe, and I'm open to being wrong, but maybe the real message is women saying: "We are scared of unknown men."
Then, if that is the message intended, what do we do next? Maybe the best thing is just to listen. To ask questions. What have you experienced to make you feel that way?
I firmly believe that the empathy we give lays a foundation for other people being willing to have empathy for the things we try to communicate.
It doesn't mean we should feel bad about ourselves, but just to recognize that someone is trying to say something, and it's not a technical discussion about bears.
What do you think?

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[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I think you need to work on your perspective-taking skills.

It seems like what's happening is that women on social media are sharing that they feel inherently unsafe around strange men in remote and unexpected places, and your reaction is "That hurts my feelings as a man, and those women are wrong!"...

If you're not dangerous, that's great. Your feelings for assuming you're being generalized are valid.

If a woman reacts to you, unprompted, with fear, I think it's important to understand the reasons why she might react that way, rather than be angry about her fear. Frankly, getting angry at someone's fear would most likely reinforce that fear. And I think understanding would help reduce the anger you feel.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's very interesting to me that everybody thinks I'm a man.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

You're right, my apologies for assuming.