this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2024
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https://imgur.com/a/6JkRV6X

I've been on HRT for 3 years, and I really have lost all hope that I will ever look like a girl or be gendered correctly or even just be treated with dignity. I'm really ugly and honestly I can tell, people lie and say well it's your personality that matters. It's really not that hard to see, and I am wondering if there is a point to spending 120 dollars a month, just for peace of mind.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry you've experienced such awful treatment from other people. And it must be horrible not to have had the changes you feel should have happened. Women and girls have every kind facial shape and features imaginable. We all look different. There are loads of women with the same facial features that agonize you. And beyond that point, you yourself are a woman. You do know a girl who looks like you.

If there's a specific way you want to look, a specific aesthetic you want to have, there are ways of achieving that. Many women in society have beauty routines involving hair and skin to look a certain way and to practice good hygiene and self care. I myself am one of those women.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (2 children)

It's just hard knowing that you will always be neglected, everyone you have a crush on you won't ever date, your always the one people go to but no one is attracted too. You are just reminded of it and it's sad.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I understand how deeply this affects you. I know this advice has been given to you many times, but these struggles are affecting your mental health. You need a combined approach of lifestyle changes and mental health growth to overcome this.

I used to feel similarly and what helped me was bottom surgery. Dysphoria over my anatomy made it very hard for me to feel authentically me. Not that this is true for you or anyone else. Just that it wasn't my jaw that was the cause at the end of the day, or my brow ridge or my cheekbones or how wide my shoulders are. It was just that I couldn't see anything beyond my own dysphoria.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I've seen you, you have had much better results than I have had, I might have bad genetics and just look ugly. This isn't my fault but the reality I live in

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I was in no way dismissing the reality you live in, or your feelings about your body and your appearance. Only providing my own feelings about my body and my appearance and how those feelings have changed over time.

I have never posted a picture of myself on this platform and I will not be doing that, so I'm not sure how you have seen me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You added me on discord I think

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

I haven't added anyone from Lemmy on discord. You must be mistaking me for someone else.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

while i won't argue people don't care at all for looks, i've seen some people who would be conventionally considered very ugly establish long lasting loves because they are genuinely wonderful to be around. it also helps to try to be around other folks like you. i had a terrible time dating until i did so in trans circles. i am now in a polycule every partner i have is trans and we're all fucking weird and most of us are at least a bit gross. you don't even have to entirely cure your depression or complete your transition to find the people are out there, you just have to find some people with things in common. and to be blunt, you calling yourself genetically cursed is akin to much of what incels say. you gotta get out of that headspace. it's not good for you.