this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/803244

the colleague in question feels that only her way of doing things is the right one and expects me to adapt to her way of thinking and her logic. This is tiring and burdensome because I have to force me to stop doing things automatically and efficiently, but think how she wants it done and do it her way. I work worse when this happens.

There are several ways to reach the same goal and I always adapt according to the situation at hand. I do what feels logic at the time and work my way.

I already told the charge nurse charge about it but I don't know if she had a conversation with this coworker and what was said.

The message has to be neutral and polite. What do you think of this?

I feel you believe you are my boss. You are not. Stop telling me how to work. It's tiring. You have your way of doing things, I've got mine, both equally good. Should you have a problem with this, contact the charge or manager. I'm gonna go work now.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

First, Ask the colleague why she feels her way is better.

If she says something like "it just is", reply that while you're open to other ways to do things, you have a way that currently works for you, and would need a reason to switch your workflows.

If she gives an actual answer, consider it. Maybe it is better than what you're use to. maybe it's possible to incorporate both ways to have the best of both worlds. Assuming you still think you way is better, say something along the lines of (I'm basing this on something I said to a co-worker in order not to be too abstract): "I get that doing it your way [is simpler and requires less troubleshooting], but it can also [give wrong results if a thing changes and we forget to correct for it]. My way [corrects for it automatically]. For me, eliminating the risk of [forgetting to manually correct] is worth the need to [do some troubleshooting]. Maybe that's because you have [better memory] and I'm better at [technical stuff], so we each have a way that works for us, but will not work for the other. I appreciate that you took the time and explained your way of thinking, and I hope you understand why my way is better for me".

After that, if she still insists, tell her you clearly aren't able to come to an agreement among yourselves, so maybe it's better you both talk to the charge nurse if manager or whatever.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Yeah. I've tried to create a culture in my group where people can recommend to others a better way to do things. This includes people reporting to me showing me how to do things better.

OP may have a good reason for doing things their own way, but if "it is easier for me" causes increased error or time to complete, I'm not going to be happy as a manager.