this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
873 points (98.2% liked)
Funny
6781 readers
808 users here now
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I was saying yesterday you never hear jokes anymore so here's one:
An Irishman walks into a bar, orders three pints of Guinness, and sits in the corner, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches him and asks, "You know, they'll go flat after a while."
The Irishman replies, "You see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other is in Australia, and since we parted ways, I've not seen either of them. By ordering three beers, I am able to toast them both wherever they are."
The bartender, touched by this gesture, decides not to intervene, and the Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, always ordering three beers and toasting his brothers.
One day, he comes in and orders only two pints. Sensing something amiss, the bartender inquires, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss. Was it your brother from America or your brother from Australia?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh, no, neither of them has died. I've just given up the drink."