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can you help me formulate an answer to a colleague who is not my boss but feels entitled to tell me how I have to work? (linux.community)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

38 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/803244

the colleague in question feels that only her way of doing things is the right one and expects me to adapt to her way of thinking and her logic. This is tiring and burdensome because I have to force me to stop doing things automatically and efficiently, but think how she wants it done and do it her way. I work worse when this happens.

There are several ways to reach the same goal and I always adapt according to the situation at hand. I do what feels logic at the time and work my way.

I already told the charge nurse charge about it but I don't know if she had a conversation with this coworker and what was said.

The message has to be neutral and polite. What do you think of this?

I feel you believe you are my boss. You are not. Stop telling me how to work. It's tiring. You have your way of doing things, I've got mine, both equally good. Should you have a problem with this, contact the charge or manager. I'm gonna go work now.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

"Thanks for your interest, but I'm not looking for input on my work process."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

This is the one.

@permit54, as soon as you start to justify argue explain or defend your position to her, that implies you acknowledge she has a right to question your methods.

She doesn't. She's not the boss of you and you don't need to engage with her preferences.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

In a creative field you should always invite input - but that doesn't mean you should allow your creativity to be constantly overriden.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

As a software developer I remember the day I told my client no, I wasn’t going to do it his way. It felt so good, and our relationship was much better after that.

Before that, my decision was that because he was cutting the checks it was his call.

But that day, I just drew a new boundary for myself: I’m not doing bad work.

(In our case, the “bad work” was always some shortcut that I knew would cause tech debt or maintenance issues later on, because my client didn’t want to spend money near term)