Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
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Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Yeah, I think it's hard to say exactly where and how this changed for me, but it definitely did. I was always a very feminine person, and this would manifest itself around certain places and people. Like pre transition, I had a few friends, specifically that I felt safe acting feminine around, and I would. But the rest of the time, and in general, my emotional responses to things and my feelings did feel very masculine to me. In a way that felt invalidating and made me feel kinda gross with myself.
I would describe myself as very girly now. Like my emotional reactions to things do not feel masculine in any way to me anymore, and i feel like i respond to things in a way society generally assigns femininity to. I also feel girly, and feel that after years living as a woman in all aspects of my life I feel my perspective has changed a lot and my understanding of myself too. It definitely started after starting HRT, when I felt like I could be the "feminine me" all the time.
I also went to therapy a lot and was told by several therapists that if I don't like something about myself, I can choose to change it. So that definitely played a role in it, too, consciously changing how I emotionally respond to things. I took gut reactions, language I would use, and how I processed and expressed my emotions and consciously changed them. I changed how I speak, my intonation, my cadence, and my pronunciation and changed them consciously to the way that I felt less dysphoric about. My voice does not pass yet, I'm considering surgery, but how I speak is unmistakably feminine. My friends and people who know me well are always very bewildered when I get misgendered, because aside from my voice and a couple physical factors it's hard to see me as anything but a woman.
I can't say for sure to what extent the actual chemical changes in my brain impacted that. It's probably non-zero, but not as much as feeling safe to be myself and consciously changing parts of my personality and responses I didn't like and wanted to leave behind. I became the woman I am today. She is the person I always wanted to be, and I worked very hard to be who I am.