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I belong nowhere. (hexbear.net)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Personality and lifestyle-wise, I'm way too liberal for the communists. Beliefs, values, and ideals wise, I'm way too communist for the liberals

I'm hardly interested in the "stereotypical" autistic culture but I'm also way too autistic for allistic people

Don't fit in with white people at all but also don't fit in with my racial group because the way they live out their identity and culture is purely through liberal consumerism. Also, EVERY young Westerner is a white supremacist to some degree, even ALL the minorities, unless they're a far left communist

Too bourgeoisified to fit in with most working class but I'm also way too class conscious and radicalized to fit in with peers of the same socioeconomic status

Not queer enough to fit in with the queer community and much too queer to fit in with cishet people

Honestly, I was infinitely happier when I was living life as a fully masking cishet liberal. I actually felt a much stronger sense of belonging back then. The more I learn about myself and try to live true to my heart, the more and more I suffer

I want to go back to when I didn't know anything about the world or myself.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I can see how having upper middle class interests would isolate you from other communist, its probably not possible for them to share your interests because they are beyond their financial means, but maybe you could try to find a new interest that you could have in common with the communists you come in contact with

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yea, I've been trying but it's a little bit difficult because of the chicken egg situation

I only have well off friends -> end up doing stuff that mostly well off people enjoy

And to befriend non well off people I need to be interested in stuff that non well off people do and enjoy, but that's also infinitely easier when I can hang out and fit in with non well off people

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And to befriend non well off people I need to be interested in stuff that non well off people do and enjoy, but that's also infinitely easier when I can hang out and fit in with non well off people

Can't you hang out with fellow party members? When I was in a party we hung out fairly regularly after meetings and such.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I do a lot but hanging out is a lot different than being close friends

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Maybe invite some of them to hang out in private? Maybe treat them to some of the bougie shit you enjoy? I didn't meet many communists that were inherently against eating or drinking nice stuff, most just can't really afford it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I'm not close enough to anybody to invite them to a thing outside of party events yet :(

I'm still working on it though!

Actually now that I think about it, I have a few times but those friendships all fizzled out due to them not committing to organizing regularly so we drifted