this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
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This is a tough one. When I find out someone has a 13 year old cat or dog I gently tell them that they need a second pet and they need it now. Because statistically in one to 6 years they will come home to an empty house and their soul is going to break when their buddy of more than a decade isn't there.
You have a cat in declining health. It isn't 100% possible to tell if their new issues are because of the kitten or if these were things that were going to happen anyway and the kitten's arrival is just coincidence.
All joining of a new cat to an established cat house is going to be rocky for a bit. I foster ferals for the local county shelter and SPCA and tame them up so they can be adopted. I have mean nasty cats show up and piss off the locals every month. But after a few days everything settles out and they all get used to each other because there is plenty of food they don't need to fight over and another room they can go to.
Except Junko. She is our 8 year old and still wants to be angry around cats that have been here one year less than her. Because she is mean. If I had the money I'd get her Prozac to see if it helps.
And that's where your next step is. Your senior cat needs a vet visit. Let's check their weight and everything else to see if they are getting enough nutrition. Is some medication to chill them out an option for them?
Do they have a spot in the house that is just theirs? Is the kitten making an effort to stay way or are they up in their face trying to make friends?
They have their own places to sleep, to eat and Litter bo. At the moment I do my best so that they don't meet directly and don't have any problems: if the older cat enters one room, I put the kitten in another. I plan to do this for a couple of weeks and then introduce them more directly, with the kitten in a cage so she doesn't get attacked.
I'd avoid coddling too much. One tool I found that helps cats get along is the laser pointer. They both get so focused on that that they kind of forget that they're in each other's space trying to get it at the same time. Once they realize that they can be in the same space at the same time, without that hostility they tend to get along a lot better.†
It may not work in this situation because of the older cats health issues. But generally the closer you can keep them without any risk of attack, the faster they adopt each other or at least tolerate each other.
† sometimes I wonder if cats are soothed by hunting and exude some kind of smell that disarms other cats.
Right. The older cat is blind. No laser pointer.
When offering up advice in public places I sometimes include options that won't work in a specific situation but might apply to the few dozen or thousand that might read it. That's why I specifically mentioned that that probably won't work in this case. And I stress "probably" because I had a "blind" cat that could see a laser. The first time I lured her into the bedroom with a laser my then girlfriend, now wife, started crying because this cat had previously only detected sun vs shadow and she wasn't even entirely sure that was not at sensing heat thing.
By the way. That's Harper. She moved in a year before my girlfriend. I made sure to ask "if I have to do I have medical permission to have that eye removed." We eventually did remove that eye. It almost killed her. But when she did finally recover she was a 14 year old kitten with lots of bounce because that cranial pressure was no longer there. The other eye was mostly bad too. Never saw anything other than a laser pointer. She was this way from birth.
Well, both of those are true separately. Not sure if that would be amplified when combined. It's an interesting question.
I adopted a new male adult to join my male adult and the new one wanted to be friends. The established one wouldn’t accept him. They didn’t get along until we moved and neither had a territorial claim.
I think you can take objects (like a blanket or towel) that they have used and get each other used to the scents. I have only tried this once (only adopted a new kitty with an established kitty twice). Not sure how effective it is.
Most important, to me: pet the established kitty first every time you come into the room. A kitty died and I brought in a new kitten. I always talked to and pet the adult first so that she didn’t feel like she was being replaced / reduced jealousy. I don’t know how much this helped, but I think it was better than had I pampered the kitten first. That’s just vibes, but it sure didn’t hurt.
@NONE_dc I'm wondering if Rubia's blindness has something to do with this. She sounds very scared.
Cats hold onto their pee out of fear, and if she's off her food she's probably drinking less as well. She's risking kidney problems.
I think there needs to be at least one nice room that the kitten is not allowed to ever enter so she never has to smell it directly.