So I feel like I very very rarely identify my race one way or the other, but I notice people often apply labels depending on the whims of the conversation. People are not consistent with how they identify me. Sometimes I'm white and other times I'm not depending on whatever point is trying to be made.
I think it's weird because I was never treated like I was white by the white side of my family. It was always made apparent I wasn't part of that club. And the non white side of my family never treated me like I was white either.
But whenever I try to say I'm not white or relate to a PoC experience, I'm told that I'm "white passing"? Uh, first off, that's incredibly subjective and depends on the group. Yes, I have passed as white at times, but I've also been identified as PoC many times, both positively and negatively.
White passing? Sure wish that unhinged vet threatening my life while calling me a sand n*gger knew I was white passing. Boy, would he have been embarrassed.
Really feels like that Aesop fable with the birds and the beasts going to war. The birds ask what the bat is, and the bat says he's a beast. The beasts ask what he is, and he says a bird. This way he doesn't fight in the war, but he's not accepted by either group after they make peace.
Except in my case, nobody asks what I am, they just tell me I'm the other group lol.
Even my partner (pure blooded "legitimate" PoC) does this shit. Always tells me I'm basically White, but after Trump got elected, she said she was scared for my safety with the increase in racism in the country. I'm like, why? Shouldn't I blend in just fine?
Idk, this post got long. These people got me tilted, and I don't know where to post this.
I'm new to the "white passing" experience. As far as I know I've always been brown. I grew up mixed salvadoran-american on the US-Mexico border and in other latino communities around the western US. I have darker skin even than my salvadoran mother. I experienced discrimination constantly when I was living in a majority anglo-white area in the US for work for the last few years. Even after losing a lot of my color because of some medical stuff, I was always regarded as an Other. Living in California now, I'm perceived differently. I'm slowly getting back to normal, which is helping, but its really weird to not be seen as another POC. However, I see that I can use this unexpected opportunity to do something good for my community potentially. My sister who absolutely white passes, but hates it because she's as latina as i am, has helped me out so many times. I want to try and pay it forward so to speak.
At the end of the day, fighting to make the world better for everyone is what I care about. I've been on the marginalized side my whole life and I won't rest until we fix this bullshit.