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— Mr President, we can get you a stamp that says 🅁 for “read”.
— Meh.
— Or a roll of golden 𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗠𝗣 stickers.
— Yeah, I’d like that, that would be really cool. Make sure the letters are sticking out, like pushed up from the paper. And make them look like the letters on Trump Tower, I really like that. You know what, I’d like a hundred, no, a thousand of them, I’ll just try them out – you know, I’ll see if they are any good.
— Great! Anything would be better than you destroying the documents you’ve read.
(A week later, various items in the White House have one or more embossed 𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗠𝗣 stickers over them. The Oval Office carpet is still piling up with torn paper.)
— Mr President, we thought you would use the stickers to mark documents you've read.
— Well, I think they're really nice on the table, and the drawers, it definitely looks wonderful.
— I see, maybe we could try a hole punch. We could do any shape. Or how about an “out” tray?
— You're trying to tell me how to do my business? I’m a great, great businessman and I have always done this. For decades, and I'll tell you: it's a power move. You must show them what you think about their poor little reports, stupid little briefings, assessment portfolios... They need to have them printed, and I just go over the page, look at the pictures, and I have it in my head! When you do business, you can’t just put paper in your bag, like a wimp. And guess what? It works, it really damn works. I’m a great businessman and I've had some glorious success making deals, all kinds of deals. I'll be listening to your business ideas when you have your own 100-floor tower in Chicago.
No very believable. He can't do full sentences like that.
Yeah but he entered office 7 years ago. I guess he was less senile back then but idk, I have rarely heard him give non-scripted speech. But anyway, I concede that I had him stay on topic for uncharacteristically long.