this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 56 points 8 months ago (1 children)

We used to leave on our bikes for the day (no phones, so basically unreachable). The only rule was you had be back by dinner.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

Tbf, as a parent now, I wouldn't let my kids go unsupervised that long without some periodic check-ins throughout the day. I mean, I definitely remember much of my childhood being like this, but in retrospect it also led to us doing lots of stupid/dangerous shit that did result in a few ER visits over the years (e.g. broken arms, legs, concussions, stitches, etc).

[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't disagree. My comment was saying a healthier balance is what I would prefer when my kids are a bit older. That article fails to be well-rounded and only focuses on proving their hypothesis versus presenting data in an objective manner. For example:

The answer lies in expectations. Parents today receive constant messaging that in order to be “good parents”, they must always keep their children safe. And it is widely believed that the world is no longer a safe place for children to play in. Yet statistics show that it has never been a safer time to be a child. Injury-related deaths are at an all-time low in most Western nations. In the US, deaths from unintentional injuries fell by 73% for boys and 85% for girls between 1973 and 2010. This misperception of risk creates the parental paradox.

Yet just a bit earlier in the article, she mentions this:

Every successive generation of children since the 1970s has seen their outdoor play and freedom shrink. Time use data show that children’s leisure time has gone down, particularly time spent in unstructured outdoor play, while time spent in academic and screen-based activities has increased. Between 1975 and 2015, outdoor play among UK children decreased by 29.4%, while screen-based activities increased by 22.4%. In the U.S., only 16% of children in 1997 played outdoors every day. By 2003—just six years later—that dropped even further to 10%.

So how can they rule out that it's safer now because the amount of kids engaging in unsupervised, dangerous/risky activities is the lowest it's ever been? (As a side note: In the US, I think she also ignores the very real financial problems with serious injuries. A medical bill for a broken bone or other serious injury can cost some families tens of thousands of dollars without insurance. Back in the 60s/70s and earlier, medical bills were way, way more affordable than now.)

There are other problems, as well. She seems to only focus on "intensive parenting" and showing that structured activities are a negative thing. Whereas articles like this, https://parenthetical.wisc.edu/2017/01/23/acing-afterschool-making-extracurricular-activities-work-for-your-teen/ , argue that structured activities can be beneficial, too. Later near the end she does discuss simply prioritizing it versus going all in, but the way it's presented throughout the rest of the article makes it seem like structured activities are entirely a negative thing and unsupervised, unstructured activities is the best way for kids to thrive.

Anyway, I'm an advocate for simply striking a healthy balance between the two: Don't overburden your kids with supervised, structured activities, and don't let them become feral by completely going hands-off with their free time. In other words, gently guide, mentor, and support them. :)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

no kids are getting stupid ideas from their fondleslabs ?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It was definitely the time to do stupid shit, but it was also great freedom. I remember constructing skate parks in abandoned factories that would rival some of the best pre fabs today. We made a 2 story indoor go-ped track. Obviously very dangerous stuff, but i wouldn't trade those memories for anything.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

Haha, same here, but ours were packed dirt trails with dirt and wood ramps in the woods (our neighborhood had a large forested area nearby). Fun stuff, and definitely some very fond memories.

But, I was definitely one of the kids that broke their leg (my femur) and had to get 4 steel pins that stuck out of my skin to set the bone while it healed for about 3 months before getting a regular cast for the rest of the healing. It was pure agony, the entire healing and physical rehab recovery process took almost a year (my school even sent an in-home tutor to my house for a couple of hours a day since I had to stay at home for several months). I'd never want anyone to go through that, particularly my kids.

That being said, I do think it's important for kids to have a degree of privacy and autonomy, I just don't think I'd be kosher with the amount of unsupervised freedom that I had as a kid (my kids are still <5, so I have some time before they're semi-free range animals).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Dirt tracks were amazing. We had a few, one of which was a huge bowl in the ground. The jumps were enormous and I always thought "whos hitting these?" Like pro level size and you would never see anyone on them. Then you'd hear "so and so" did a 3 on that one. It made for some good myths. Luckily there was so much empty space, we'd just make some jumps for our skill level.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I was sent to the corner store at age four to buy a carton of cigarettes for my dad. 1960's

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

So you are saying maybe two years?